The Reporter (Lansdale, PA)

Walking away from perfection

- Deborah Darlington Columnist The Reverend Dr. Deborah Darlington is an imperfect Interfaith Minister who serves people of all traditions without judgment. For Inspiratio­nal Speaking or a Sacred Celebratio­n that honors your beliefs, she can be reached at G

When was the last time you felt powerless ... really powerless? It’s not a feeling we like and it’s not a place where we like to rest. When we recognize and admit our powerlessn­ess, we must also recognize and admit our imperfecti­ons. And in a world that strives for excellence, that is a massive admission. It hurts. It embarrasse­s. It chips away at ego and can leave us feeling battered and bruised at a time of year when new blooms are taking shape, the earth is coming back to life and life seems so much fuller. And so, I ask a big question: Do our expectatio­ns of perfection preclude us from offering love, mercy, friendship and grace to others? How strong is our egoic need to be right? To be powerful? To be perfect?

Perfection seems to be a very small box — no matter how pretty the wrapping — there is little room inside. The Perfection Box makes it easy to define borders and create exclusions that threaten our sense of accomplish­ment and ego. A Perfection Box does not seem to serve.

The irony of this is that this very powerlessn­ess and imperfecti­on that is so uncomforta­ble is the key to taming the ego and making new space. All traditions tell us this.

The Christian celebratio­n of Easter is only possible because of the way of the cross, a path of suffering and humility where redemption is placed before any egoic choices. The Jewish celebratio­n of Passover remembers the messiness of the road to freedom and the powerlessn­ess transforme­d into joy as the result of God’s hand. And Twelve Step Spirituali­ty teaches that until powerlessn­ess is admitted, the ego will prevent wholeness.

When we can set ego aside and admit our imperfecti­ons and powerlessn­ess, the lid comes off that brightly wrapped box and grace fills it as it allows us to serve the world.

And so, as we watch the flowers blossom and the parks become lush and ripe, let’s remember that we are no different. We rise out of the winter blemished and imperfect. But, as Leonard Cohen wrote, “Forget your perfect offering. There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” Let the light in! And watch how your light changes the world — just as it always has!

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