Longtime friend brings others along on outings
Dear Abby: I have a friend, “Tara,” I have known for a long time. Early in our friendship when we made plans, she would bring her boyfriend along (without asking or telling me she was). When she began dating her now-husband, it continued.
She’s married now, and a mother, and now every time we hang out, she brings along her rambunctious 6-year-old. Tara’s mother is older and lives with her, and sometimes she comes along with them. I want some alone friend time with Tara.
Tara usually waits until right before we’re getting together or waits until she’s on the way and says, “I hope it’s OK ‘Bobby’ is coming with me.” I find it rude and disrespectful of me and our time together.
I hate to lose a longtime friend, but I never know what I’m getting with her and am now hesitant to make plans with her. What would you do? – Simmering in South Carolina
Dear Simmering: I would tell my friend that I don’t mind an occasional change of plans, but when I have “a fun girls’ day out” planned with her, I don’t appreciate what she has been doing. Your feelings are valid.
Dear Abby: I have been invited to a wedding. I’m close with the bride and want to attend. However, more than 400 people have been invited, and I’m not comfortable attending an event this large. While I can try to keep my distance and wear a mask, the seating cannot be arranged so guests can socially distance.
She thinks the coronavirus is a hoax and God will have it go away completely by her wedding. I need to RSVP. Please help. – Uneasy in Oregon
Dear Uneasy: Tell your friend that you are sorry you will miss her wedding, but that you are not comfortable traveling at this time or being in large groups while the COVID-19 virus is still an issue and the omicron variant is more contagious than delta.
The COVID virus is not a “hoax,” and none of us has such a close relationship with the Almighty that He (or She) will make it disappear so a bride can have a large wedding. The brideto-be is entitled to her opinion, and you are equally entitled to yours, so send your regrets and the reason for them, and do not allow yourself to be sucked into a debate about it.