‘VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS’
PG-13 2:17 ★★★★
In the summer of 1997, inventive French auteur Luc Besson launched movie audiences on a colorfully bizarre, imminently watchable and ridiculously entertaining space adventure with the sleeper smash “The Fifth Element.”
Thanks to advances in computer technology, Besson’s new action-packed space oddity “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” is teeming with exotic and eye-popping aliens, planets and gadgets, but the film’s human elements are sorely lacking and its narrative deficiencies all too commonplace.
Based on the French comic book series “Valerian and Laureline,” Besson’s latest passion project opens with such promise, as a striking parade of humans and aliens meet with a handshake to the tune of David Bowie’s “Space Oddity.” As interstellar travel advances, the International Space Station expands as more human nations and later alien species send ships to dock with it, until the bulbous amalgamation of people and technology — renamed Alpha and nicknamed the “City of a Thousand Planets” — becomes so large it has to be jettisoned from Earth’s orbit.
Jumping 400 years into the future, Beeson’s jumbled story shifts to the idyllic oceanic planet Mul, where the iridescent inhabitants peacefully harvest pretty power-packed pearls, until debris from a massive space battle overhead devastates the planet.
Unfortunately, Besson’s movie gets much less interesting as it introduces the humans we’re supposed to be following on this muddled adventure, hotshot Human Federation agents Valerian (the woefully miscast Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (ditto Cara Delevingne), whose latest assignment is protecting their commander (Clive Owen) from some vague danger. DeHaan projects so little authority and charisma, I wouldn’t trust him to navigate the supermarket cereal aisle much less save the universe.
Not only does Delevingne display no discernible acting talent, but she and DeHaan also spark zero detectable chemistry even though they’re supposed to play partners and love interests. Worse, Besson, who tasked a woman with saving the world in “The Fifth Element” and taking mankind to the next evolutionary level in “Lucy,” relegates Laureline to a bad-driving second banana who harps on Valerian’s commitment issues, undergoes a makeover (albeit a silly one played for laughs) and makes dumb decisions that turn her into a damsel in distress.
The people playing aliens fare far better: Rihanna steals the show as a shapeshifting pole dancer who longs to do Shakespeare, Ethan Hawke is a hoot as the flamboyant cowboy pimp who has enslaved her, and John Goodman voices an intimidating blob of a black-market crime boss.
A visual visionary, Besson gives viewers plenty to gawk at with “Valerian,” from a chase sequence that shifts between dimensions to a trio of alien informants who resemble the love children of Howard the Duck and a gargoyle. But without a strong story or lead performances, this space odyssey drifts lifelessly instead of soaring into the cosmos.
Starring: Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, Clive Owen and Ethan Hawke. (Sci-fi violence and action, suggestive material and brief language)
— Brandy McDonnell,
The Oklahoman