‘They wanted it to be real and raw, and it was amazing’

Ethan Song’ film replays accidental shooting ‘to keep kids safe’

SHORELINE — “Your son is dead.” Those four words shattered Kristin Song’s world.

“You can’t even conceive those words,” said the Guilford mother whose son, Ethan Song, fatally shot himself at a friend’s house in 2018.

Since that day, Kristin Song has spent every waking moment thinking of ways to keep children safe from guns.

“I wrote down 50 ways to honor Ethan and I’m probably on my like 300th way to honor Ethan,” Kristin Song said.

The Song’s latest project, in conjunction with Old Neighborhood Films, is the 15-minute award-winning film, “Ethan Song.”

The film will premiere on Wednesday, Oct. 27 at 7:30 p.m. To register to view the premiere, visit the website songstrong.org.

A panel discussion is planned immediately following the short movie. Participants will include Kristin Song and her husband, Mike Song; Robin Fox, creator of an enrichment guide to go along with the film and Annie Lintzenich Andrews, pediatrician at the Medical University of South Carolina.

The winner of the Best Picture: Social Awareness at the 2021 Block Island Film Festival, “Ethan Song” was produced by Nick Rapuano. Madison’s Jill Nesi’s music is featured in the film. Nesi formed Stand UP & Speak OUT, an arts initiative, to address critical issues impacting school children, including bullying, gun violence and substance abuse.

The powerful film takes the viewer from the night before Ethan Song was killed, to the moment he accidentally shot himself at a friend’s home.

The purposes of the film, according to Nesi, is “to keep kids safe.”

Nesi hopes it will educate gun owners and non-gun owners alike.

“If you know somebody who has an unsecured gun in their house or access to guns, stand up and speak out and let people know,” Nesi said.

Nesi said working with the Songs was the “most rewarding experience I’ve ever had.”

“It was four days, at my house, that’s where we filmed the movie,” she said. “I feel like I know Ethan.”

“They wanted it to be not sugar-coated,” she added. “They wanted it to be real and raw and it was amazing.”

It includes an interview with Kristin Song and her husband, Mike Song.

“Every time I watch it, I’m sobbing,” said Nesi.

It was difficult for Kristin and Mike Song to be a part of the production.

“I literally cried for the entire time,” said Kristin Song. “It was really hard for me to be there, but I felt like it was really important, too, because they would turn to me and ask me questions like ‘Would Ethan behave this way?’ “Would he ask you that questions?’ I felt it was part of my child on that screen.”

“It was exhausting,” she adds. “It was almost as traumatizing as living through it like the first time.”

Mike Song said it was difficult to watch himself being portrayed on “the worst day” of his life, yet he appreciates the importance of the film.

“The quality of the film, it makes you feel like you’re in the room with the kids, at the moment where you want

to try and stop them from doing what they’re doing,” he said, referring to the moment when the fatal gunshot was fired.

“It’s just very hard to watch it,” he added.

The Song’s continue their mission to spread awareness of gun violence and children hoping they can save lives.

“I’ve never been shy about talking about Ethan’s part in his death and that the boys were being really stupid, stupid teenager boys,” Kristin Song said.

“So, I’ve wanted people to know that Ethan’s death is not an outlier,” she added. “Eight children a day are gaining access to unsecured guns and are dying and the majority of those kids are kids who find their own family gun and kill themselves.”

The film is viewed as an educational film, targeted towards teenagers and adults, alike. The plan includes distributing it, free, to every Connecticut high school, along with an enrichment program.

“It’s very raw for young, young people, but I would love for some way for young people to get the message as well,” Nesi said.

Nesi stressed she is not against guns; the message is safe storage of guns.

“When there are young kids around, lock them up,” she said. “It’s that simple.”

Kristin Song is spreading the word to save other families the grief her family has experienced since the death of Ethan.