Words can hurt more than most realize
There is much controversy in the United States regarding words, phrases, songs and images that offend. The workplace is not immune. Some might wonder what has changed. Why are words and images that were not widely considered offensive suddenly being labeled as such?
However, the words and actions were likely always offensive to the group they were directed at. We are just starting to become more aware of how much further we need to evolve as a society in order to become truly inclusive. As a result of this evolution, concerns are popping up in the workplace about how to address offensive language.
Over the years, we have grown to understand that we should treat all people equally and that acts of racism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, sexism and any other action that belittles or insults a group of people because of their beliefs, ethnicity, religion, age, gender and more have no place in our country or workplaces.
Now it seems a “next step” is happening. We now need to look deeper into understanding that certain words and actions can or have always offended. It is easy to brush it off and say the world is getting too sensitive. But if we are offending a person or group of people, is being more aware or sensitive necessarily a bad thing?
Unless we have walked in someone else’s shoes, do we have a right to decide what words should and should not offend?
When it comes to the workplace, we are required to protect our employees against discrimination. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission exists to assure that employers are taking our federal laws seriously.
Recently, an employee of a client asked me how to handle if he unintentionally said an offensive word. I replied by looking around the room, which was about as diverse a group as could be, and said, “When someone who seems trustworthy says a word that is considered offensive to you, but the person seems unaware, perhaps we can take a moment and consider the context in which the word was said.” Was the speaker intending to offend or was she or he ignorant or oblivious?
If we are offended, we can take the time to help others understand why. In the spirit of inclusion, let’s work together to teach others what it is like to walk in our shoes. We can overcome ignorance by promoting empathy through helping us understand each other’s perspectives.
I can offer some first-hand knowledge of this. When I moved to the Lehigh Valley in 1991, I had a Realtor take me around to learn about the various neighborhoods that make up our great Valley. As a city girl, I loved the parks, the space and the overall friendliness of the people. I could not be more excited. The Realtor was so attentive that she even took me to see an elementary school that my son might attend.
That day was Martin Luther King Day and the school was closed. However, we did meet a few people working in the main office. I mentioned that I realized they were closed for MLK Day and they told me that they do not observe the
holiday; it was a teacher in-service day.
I was surprised by the tone in which the woman took to clarify this fact. By looking at me, she had no reason to understand why this would be of concern.
What she did not know was that I am the daughter of a Holocaust survivor whose father lost his entire family to Hitler’s army for the sole reason of being Jewish. She didn’t know that he spent five years, from age 12 to 17, in 10 concentration camps, again because of his religious beliefs. She also didn’t know that I was supersensitive to anything that might indicate tolerance toward any form of discrimination. I found her words offensive.
Thankfully over time, I learned that the Lehigh Valley could be a very inclusive place to live. But let’s face it: We still have work to do.
Workplaces need to educate executives, managers and employees about this next level of understanding. First and foremost, we cannot and should not tolerate any form of discrimination. Secondly, we all need to take harassment prevention and all forms of cultural sensitivity training seriously. This isn’t just checking a box on the HR department’s to-do list. Understanding and respecting the viewpoints of others will make our society and our workplaces stronger.
There are many times when outrage over offensive language is completely warranted. There are other times when communication and education will be more productive. As we continue into this next phase of understanding in the workplace, it will be more important than ever to pick the proper response.
Tina Hamilton is president and CEO of myHR Partner, Inc., a Lehigh Valley human resources outsourcing firm that manages HR programs and projects for clients in 22 states. She can be reached at tina@myhrpartnerinc.com.