Son idolizes Michael Jackson
DEAR AMY >> My 7-year-old son has recently discovered Michael Jackson. I am having a hard time with it. With allegations against Jackson of child molestation, it’s hard to constantly hear his music being played by my child.
My son’s interest is at the point where for his recent birthday friends and family bought him a record, an MJ patch to wear on his jacket and a white bedazzled glove.
My son has definitely received lots of instruction about “stranger danger” and such, but do I tell him his musical idol would potentially be a grown-up that might want to harm him?
If I told him he simply wasn’t allowed to listen anymore, he would want some kind of explanation. Or do we simply wait this out until it passes and have a difficult conversation when he’s older?
For the record, Amy, I believe the accusers, which makes this all especially hard. What is your advice? — Concerned Parent DEAR CONCERNED >> On one hand, no parent should quash their own instincts in order to let something slide.
However, I do not think you should actively discourage your son from listening to Michael Jackson’s music.
Parents who discover that their children are playing games featuring pretend weapons or other violence (either via video or in real life) must explain that real guns really hurt people.
And so it is with this musical genius and icon (and many other icons). This real person hurt children.
If you find the right moment, you should say to your son, “Michael Jackson was an amazing performer! But I want you to know that he also hurt some children when he was a grown-up. My job is to try to always tell you the truth about things. So you can listen to his music and love his music, but I want you to know this about him.”
Your son might be interested in becoming a musician or dancer. Make sure he sees footage of young Michael performing with the Jackson Five.
And also introduce him to appropriate selections of the work of other artists like Beyonce, Usher, Justin Timberlake, the Backstreet Boys, Prince, Bruno Mars, vintage Justin Bieber, and of course, Janet Jackson. Many of these performers also started their musical careers as children — and this idea might appeal to your son. He might enjoy watching the Grated fan film about Bieber’s career, “Never Say Never,” which features clips of the singer as a tiny talent, busking on the street corner.
I don’t assume that any artists are angels (Sinatra, anyone?), but because Jackson has been accused of crimes against children, his legacy carries a unique challenge for fans.