Family of ASU student who died by suicide aims for change with foundation

Adrio Romine had tutored fellow students since he was in kindergarten, and his knack for helping other students never stopped as he grew up.

Throughout his school years, he was an advanced student: In 2018, Adrio graduated as Chandler High School’s valedictorian with a 4.9 GPA — all at the age of 16. He moved on to Arizona State University as a pre-med student with plans to someday become a doctor.

Adrio’s future looked as bright as any parent could hope for, recalled his mother, Paolla Jordan. But a year after he graduated high school, that future was cut short at just 17 years old.

Adrio died by suicide in May, while visiting family in Oregon. His mother suspects a person on the internet may have encouraged him to complete the suicide.

“There was somebody on the internet who was speaking to him in a forum regarding other people ... that are suicidal,” she said.

Chandler police confirmed to The Arizona Republic they are working with the Klamath County’s Sheriff’s Department in Oregon to investigate the death. Officials with the Sheriff’s Department declined to answer questions.

Adrio’s death came after about sev

en months and nearly 400 private messages he exchanged with a user on Reddit, his mother said.

Jordan said she has read the messages but has not made them public. She turned them over to the police for their investigation but said the user “basically gave him details” on how to complete suicide.

“The dialogue’s real, and it’s so disturbing that people really talk like this and that somebody’s actually feeding information to a person, and there’s no law on the books that says it’s illegal to talk to a minor about suicide,” she said.

A Reddit spokesman said the company had no comment because of the ongoing investigation.

Adrio’s older sister, Meritxell Romine, was with him during his Oregon trip. They were visiting their paternal grandmother, who they hadn’t seen together in seven years. “I sensed that it was the last time of something,” she said. “I honestly anticipated it would be the last time I saw my grandmother, not my brother.”

Romine, 21, remembered Adrio seemed quiet and inexpressive during the trip. “I asked him, ‘Are you having fun?’ He said, ‘Meh.’ ”

Two days before he died, he told her, “It’s fine, just not a lot of things excite me.”

Now, Jordan and Romine are moving forward with their own effort to honor Adrio’s memory through the LaloBoy Foundation, which they hope will give students a safe place to go if they aren’t comfortable speaking about issues with their immediate family.

Adrio’s mom and sister noted his situation — that of a high-achieving student with a bright future dealing with internal struggles — is one that many other young people are in.

“What we’ve experienced and seen in talking and interviewing with other students is that people that are in crisis are going peer-to-peer,” Jordan said.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that from 2000 to 2016, the United States has seen a 30% increase in deaths by suicide.

New research from the Journal of the American Medical Association found that 5,016 males and 1,225 females between 15 and 24 died by suicide in 2017. The researchers found a particular increase in suicides among young men.

Katey McPherson is a Chandlerbased youth advocate and education professional who specializes in mental health issues and social media. McPherson said there are bigger stressors on young people now than there were 20 years ago.

“By 10 years old, kids are already thinking about what I need to do by 12th grade to get into college,” she said. “There’s not only parental pressure, but peer pressure.”

Students also face stress over how to pay for college. “With tuition going up, some parents are like, ‘You have to do well because we don’t have money to send you,’ ” she said. “So there’s educational pressure, peer group — a lot of it is self-induced pressure, where kids are living in a … perfection sphere of their own.”

McPherson doesn’t think social media should be used as the lone scapegoat for all youth problems, but she advised parents to be mindful of the impact the Internet and social media have on their children. “Many people don’t know about Reddit, Instagram, Snapchat or Twitter, so yes it’s a huge threat,” she said.

“You take a kid who’s vulnerable, and you put them in a suicide forum ... they’re gonna get swallowed by the vortex.”

The average national time-window for someone seriously considering suicide before they complete it can be anywhere from 15 minutes to two weeks, McPherson said. Adrio’s progression was longer, since to her knowledge he started speaking with the Reddit user in November 2018.

Many of the classmates Adrio tutored told Jordan they owed part of their academic success to her son.

“I was just blown away that he had such a hand in helping kids,” she said. Around 30 students told her he had helped them with physics or the SAT when she met them at Adrio’s wake and funeral, she said.

One was William Mustafa, who knew Adrio since they were in 7th grade.

Mustafa was the Chandler High salutatorian, with the second-highest GPA after Adrio. Throughout high school, Adrio encouraged Mustafa to study so they could walk down the field together once they graduated.

“It was kinda surreal at the moment because we dreamt of it at the beginning of high school: ‘We’re gonna walk down together.’ We just kept that mindset throughout high school, and that day it came true,” he recalled.

Mustafa described Adrio as caring, loving and gifted, in an interview with The Republic. “He was a heartful being and he is somebody that will help others — sacrificing his own — he would take his time to help others. He really cared about what others were feeling,” he said.

Another friend, Ricardo Tenorio, remembers Adrio as a kind, helpful friend with integrity.

“One of the real things about him is that he was always realistic and honest,” Tenorio said. “He wouldn’t hide his true self, you know, especially in high school, people will try to fit into the mold, but he was always independent.”

He added that Adrio enjoyed being the person classmates came to when they needed help with their schoolwork. “He was pretty selfless,” Tenorio said. “He liked helping people a lot.”

The LaloBoy Foundation would help students in the community through counseling services and support groups in an off-campus site.

“The day of my son’s death, that night, my daughter and I came up with it. We’re like, ‘We have to do something,’ and that was really how it started,” Jordan said.

“The children can come on their own to receive services,” family friend Nikki Macias said. She started a GoFundMe campaign for Adrio’s funeral costs. “The LaloBoy Foundation is here to receive the children with open arms as they are. No matter what crisis the children face, no matter how big or small, they are safe.”

The name comes from Adrio’s childhood. “My son couldn’t say his name when he was little. So he said Laloboy. It was his nickname,” Jordan said.

Although Adrio didn’t like it went he got older, the name stuck: His gaming tag name was Laloboy73, and his fellow gamers called him Lalo as well.

While the foundation is still getting off the ground and its website is in development, Jordan and Romine are reaching out to the community to change the way mental health is treated in Chandler students.

Jordan said she met with the Chandler Unified School District to talk about how the district can be more attentive to the issue.

“It’s been in the works, and they outlined a lot of the things they are doing, and have been implementing, and I was invited to be on the parental advisory board,” Jordan said.

Brenda Ramos is the director of Counseling and Social Services for the district. She says Chandler is rolling out a new student wellness plan.

Part of their plan includes inviting counselors to the classroom to talk about mental health, which will start in 7th grade, she said. Students will start learning about the importance of taking care of their mental health in 5th grade, with handouts that promote positive habits, like talking to friends and adults.

Specific lessons will be part of grades 7 through 12, she added. Videos featuring teens talking about relevant issues also will be featured. “Sometimes when they see students and hear from students, it’s definitely more impactful, and more relatable for them,” Ramos said.

The district solicited feedback from students. School officials learned many students are hesitant to call a Lifeline number on the back of their student ID because they were unsure what would happen to them when they called.

As a result of that feedback, students will be introduced to how the Lifeline works during 9th grade orientation. Teachers and staff will be better equipped with information on how to help a student who may be struggling.

Not only will more staff members be well-equipped to deal with these topics, but students can receive training too, Ramos said. High school juniors also will be trained in esuicideTALK, an online program from LivingWorks designed to take steps toward suicide awareness and prevention, Ramos said, in addition to other measures.

Adrio’s family hopes the LaloBoy Foundation will give students the help and resources they need.

Jordan shared a card she made after her son’s passing with The Republic. In it, Adrio smiles at the camera; his sister said it’s rare to find photos of him with a wide, genuine smile.

The card offers resources that can help teens who are struggling with the stresses of life and need a simple reminder of a fact that Adrio’s family wants to make sure students know. It’s a fact they hope the LaloBoy Foundation can help students remember in the long run.

Above that rare smile are the words “You are enough.”

Where to call for help

If you or a loved one needs help, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or Mercy Care’s 24-hour crisis line at 602-2229444.

Banner Thunderbird Medical Center’s Department of Behavioral Health offers an intensive outpatient program for adults and teens. People can request a free assessment at 602-254-4357.

La Fontera Arizona/EMPACT — Suicide Prevention Center offers services to children, adults and families across the Valley. Call the 24-hour crisis hotline at 480-784-1500.