TELL ME ABOUT IT

Dear Carolyn: I’m very frustrated with my parents right now and need an outside opinion. I moved in with them earlier this year because my late girlfriend’s parents were suing for custody of my 2-yearold daughter. It was clear they were going to use the fact that we lived in a small studio apartment against me, so I moved in with my parents to remove that disadvantage. Last month I finally won my court case and retain full custody of my daughter.

They asked me not to hold the custody battle against them but I do. I hate them and I always will. They say they did it for my daughter, but they did it to punish me for surviving the car wreck that killed my girlfriend even though the other driver was at fault, and to replace their daughter with mine.

My mom told me she’d like to invite them for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner and I said absolutely not. We’ve been fighting about it ever since.

How can I make my parents see how wrong they are?

Your question could just as easily be phrased, “How can I make this fight go on for the rest of our lives?”

You don’t even need to win this one, for what it’s worth, because you have full autonomy; if your parents invite your late girlfriend’s parents, or just insist on insisting on it, then you can simply choose not to be there.

It’s still your prerogative to say whatever you want – but why not choose words that pre-empt such arguments? “I am still angry at what they put me through and will not share my holidays with them.” Your feelings now are all truths. Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio