Teen crush requires patience
I am 14 and a freshman in high school. I’m not allowed to date (my mother’s rule), but I really like a boy. I think of him all the time. Thankfully, I’m his friend, but he already has a girlfriend.
It hurts me to keep my feelings secret, and that he’s happy with another girl. I don’t want to ruin his relationship, but it sometimes crosses my mind even though I know it’s wrong. Can you please tell me how to deal with this? I want to be his friend, but if I could, I would love to be more than friends.
— Friend Zoned
I know it isn’t easy, but your best bet would be to stand pat and make no announcements for now. Because your mother feels you aren’t ready to date, imagine how restrictive she’ll become if she knows you may be influencing this boy to break up with his girlfriend.
And furthermore, if word got around your school that you’re the kind of girl who would deliberately cause a breakup, your reputation would be trashed. Be patient and bide your time, and the future will take care of itself.
We have been married 25 HOROSCOPE
(March 21-April 19). You think you know your strengths and your flaws. Just don’t take these to be fixed features of your personality.
(April 20-May 20). People want to share with you, and this will open you up. Just be careful not to tell too much too fast. Let relationships unspool, but keep some tension on the line.
(May 21-June 21). Romantic love can so easily disappoint. Take heart and keep the faith, but do all you can to fortify and love yourself while you wait for something dazzling from the other person.
(June 22-July 22). If you don’t believe that the unseen forces can assist your destiny, you’ll change your mind after today.
(July 23-Aug. 22). You’ll give the painstaking attention necessary to let the other person know you’re serious, but only in spurts. This shouldn’t be a constant in the relationship, especially not a new relationship. If it is: red flag.
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Initiate, negotiate, and seal the deal. It could happen by the end of the day. It could even happen all within a few minutes.
(Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Keep your body occupied so your mind can work on the tough problems, get creative, run free and wild. Manual labor will be excellent for this or repetitive, boring exercise.
(Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Posting opinions isn’t the same thing as sharing personal experiences. Bringing your heart and feelings to a conversation will have real power. Social media posts — not so years. We have never had children together, but he has a daughter from a previous marriage. “Bridget” has blessed us with three grandchildren. We get along great, and she has been a wonderful daughter and stepdaughter.
I acknowledge all their birthdays by sending a card and check each year. Bridget always gets her father a gift and card for his birthday. She’s also very close to her mother.
My problem is, Bridget has never acknowledged my birthday with a card or even a phone call.
Am I wrong to feel hurt for never having been acknowledged after 25 years, or should I just let it go? — Sad Stepmom In Michigan
After a quarter of a century, I think it’s time to let it go. The time to have mentioned it was years ago, and the person who should have said something to Bridget was her father.
Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAb by.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Can't get enough advice? Find more columns from Carolyn Hax and other columnists on advice.azcentral.com. much.
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