That turkey stuffed with dressing is also dressed with stuffing

Dear Abby: My husband and I have the same argument every year around Thanksgiving. He says there is a difference between stuffing and dressing. I say they’re the same thing, except that stuffing is baked in the turkey, while dressing is baked separately in a casserole dish.

My husband insists I’m wrong—that the difference has nothing to do with how it’s cooked. He thinks stuffing is made with regular bread, while dressing is made with cornbread.

The debate is driving me crazy. Will you please tell me who is right?— Stuffing vs. Dressing in Ohio

Dear Stuffing vs. Dressing: The terms “dressing” and “stuffing” are interchangeable. They refer to a seasoned mixture used to stuff meat or poultry. It makes no difference what kind of bread is used.

Some tips: If you plan to stuff your turkey, be sure all the ingredients are pre-cooked (i.e. vegetables, fruit, meat, seafood). Using pasteurized liquid eggs is safer than using raw eggs. The bird should be loosely stuffed, not packed because stuffing expands while cooking, and the turkey should be stuffed right before it is put into the oven. The stuffing takes the longest of the bird’s components to reach the desired safe temperature (165˚F). Once the stuffing is in the turkey, it should not be removed until the turkey is ready to be carved.

Dear Abby: My husband and I have lived here for 20 years, and so have our lovely, gracious and caring neighbors. We haven’t had any new neighbors for years—until now.

My husband has met the couple in passing, but I haven’t yet. There has been a lot of activity over there, what with moving in, etc. As a neighbor, when and how should I approach them and offer my welcome to the neighborhood? Should I bring them something?—Kate in Quincy, Mass.

Dear Kate: I can tell by your question that the folks in your neighborhood are indeed “lovely, gracious and caring.” The first thing you should bring the new neighbors is a warm smile. And it wouldn’t hurt if along with it you brought a plate of edible treats and an offer to refer them to the nearest market, dry cleaner, your shoe repair shop and a reliable plumber.

Dear Abby: My dad came into my room and told me he and my mom were having problems—that they were thinking about getting divorced. I can’t imagine living without them or having to choose who I want to live with. Every child needs her mother, but Dad is the one who has always been there for me. Should I just live with my grandparents and see how that works out?—Baffled in the South

Dear Baffled: It was wrong of your father to talk to you about this before anything had been decided between him and your mother. I realize that my telling you not to worry about this would do no good because being upset is perfectly natural in these circumstances. Your father may have spoken prematurely, so keep that in mind.

You should talk to both of your parents about this. If you are close to your grandparents, discuss it with them, too, since you feel you might like to live with them to avoid hurting either parent.