Aunt cries over niece’s life choices

Dear Amy: My 21-year-old niece will be graduating from a well-known college in May.

She has already secured a great job in another state and has the potential to relocate to their different offices around the world. She is bright, beautiful and has a budding future ahead of her.

She announced in January that she and her high school sweetheart are getting married.

We were all shocked and hoped for a long engagement, but they decided it would happen in June.

He is a really nice guy and I like him, but he did not go to college and his aspiration in life is to own a used-car lot.

I’m worried that the disparity in aspirations might be an issue in the future. Plus, he is not planning on moving with her to the big city she’ll be working in (what the heck?)

I’m mad at her. I don’t understand why she feels this great rush to get married.

How can I wrap my head around this and get past my disappointment? She’s so young but I know she’s going to do what she wants to do. — Sad Aunt

Dear Sad Aunt: People your niece’s age often have boundless energy to cram in many momentous experiences. From your perch, this must seem like an exhausting whirlwind.

It is worrying that you would be brought to tears over your niece’s (mainly positive) life choices. You view every single one of these choices through a scrim of your own needs and experiences. But she is not you. She is definitely herself, and she has the right — and the need — to live her own life.

Your only job is to continue to love her; you should not concern yourself too much with the particulars, or judge her harshly as she plows her own path.