Wealthy in-law ‘forgets’ promise
DEAR ABBY:
I am a widow. I supported my husband during our marriage with no help from his wealthy parents. My husband died before his father did. After my father-in-law’s death, I received nothing. My sister-in-law told me she would give me $5,000, but she would invest it and give it to me after I retire.
Well, that was 10 years ago. I just retired. When I asked her for it, she claimed she had no memory of it and got angry with me for asking. I said I hated her “stingy” family, and she hung up on me.
Should I ask her for the money again? — PROMISE BROKEN IN MICHIGAN
DEAR PROMISE: No. Unless the promise your husband’s sister made was in writing, there is no way for you to collect the money. I’m sorry.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old first-generation Polish American with a very Polish family. I just changed schools, and nobody will learn how to pronounce my name, including teachers.
I was named after a family member and the name has a lot of history, so my parents don’t want to Americanize it. But correcting people with no results is getting tiring. I feel split between my Polish and American identities. Is it worth it to disappoint my parents to
— AGNIESZKA IN NEW JERSEY DEAR AGNIESZKA:
make it a little easier?
What would be worth it would be to explain to your teachers and friends the history behind your name. Shakespeare wrote, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” In this case, there’s a whole lot behind your name, including the memory of a woman who was loved by your family. That fact is worthy of respect. If your teachers don’t get it, perhaps your parents can explain it to them.
Many people have nicknames, and if your peers choose one you like, so be it.
DEAR ABBY:
I am a mother of two daughters, ages 3 and 1. About a year ago, a couple moved in across the street. They have boys ages 3 and 11 months. We have formed a friendship with this family, but I find it very uncomfortable when they leave our home and the father kisses my children on the cheek. I want it to stop, but I don’t know how to address it.
— UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE EAST DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE:
Tell your neighbor you would prefer he not kiss your children. Period. You are their mother, and asserting yourself in this role is part of your job.