Vulnerability at work not about tears

which contribute to higher performance.

By integrating vulnerability into your leadership approach, you can build stronger relationships, invite collaboration and open a pathway for more difficult but important conversations, which will improve the wellness and performance of the company and everyone within.

The best way to leverage vulnerability at work is going to be unique to your personality, company and circumstances, but there are general rules of thumb to keep in mind:

Be authentic

As Dr. Brene Brown shares in her book, “The Gifts of Imperfection,” “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are. Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.”

Humans have built-in detectors that tell us when other people are lying or being dishonest. If you’re using vulnerability in a disingenuous way, such as to get pity, sympathy or attention, people will see right through you.

Not only that, but trust will be broken and you won’t be taken seriously. Being inauthentic can be perceived as being manipulative and will eventually create a toxic environment.

Make sure what you’re sharing benefits others

Your vulnerability should come with an answer to a “so what?” question. There should be a clear end goal for what you’re sharing, and the ultimate aim should be to help other people in some capacity.

Even creating space for people to help you is a form of benefiting others because it facilitates cooperation and collaboration. Whether it’s sharing a challenge that you’re dealing with and allowing them to pitch in and support, or just bringing something to their awareness so they have a greater understanding of what’s happening behind the scenes, the vulnerability should have a why.

Be honest about when and how you need help

Too often, many of us are afraid to ask for help because we feel pressure to be perfect leaders and have all of the answers. We often worry that admitting what we don’t know will cause people to lose confidence in us. But as leaders, the people who work with you want to support you if they can, they just don’t always know the best way.

Tell them exactly what it is that you need help with and how they can assist. And remember that by doing that, you’re not only helping yourself but stretching the capabilities of your staff and helping them grow.

By balancing honesty, vulnerability and authenticity, you’re not giving up or admitting defeat — there’s no need to feel shame or think that you’ve somehow failed.

By being transparent about your struggles, you’re being courageous and using a natural human emotion to catalyze yourself and your team into forging deeper connections and stretching the limits of everyone’s capacity to grow as well-rounded people at work.

Tanya Prive is a partner at Legacy Transformational Consulting, a boutique consulting firm.

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