Still time to do right by mom on her day
Research, creativity and a little thoughtfulness go a long way
Thoughtfulness and creativity can make a nice Mother’s Day.
When Evie Ebert had her first child five years ago, she started noticing something interesting. Every Mother’s Day, her socialmedia feeds would be full of perfectly styled picnics and cooing captions like, “Felt so celebrated today!” But later, when she logged on to the private mom groups she was part of, the same women were telling a different story.
“It would be like, ‘ Ugh, he wanted to make brunch, but it meant he was in the kitchen for three hours, using every pan, while I had to watch the kids,’” said Ebert, a writer who lives on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.
Every year since, she has posted a tongue-in-cheek Twitter tutorial on how to take Mother’s Day out of cliché central and turn it into something the mothers in your life — the actual mothers in your life, not some two-dimensional idea of a mom — might enjoy.
“I don’t think you have to spend a lot of money,” she said. “But I do think you need to have a little forethought.”
Mother’s Day is Sunday. If you haven’t made plans for your partner or your mom yet, here’s the bad news: You have three days. But here’s the good news. There is stisll time to pull it together without phoning it in.
: Do some detective work: The most successful presents, said Elisabeth Jones-Hennessy, founder of the gift-giving platform GiftMeChic, “aren’t about the object, they’re about the research and thought that went into choosing them.”
Instead of “just getting something to get something,” said Jones-Hennessy, really picture the person you’re buying for, then ask yourself what would make their life easier or further an interest they already have.
Does her ideal day involve being surrounded by her kids or escaping them? If you don’t know, Ebert suggests this radical method: Ask her. But don’t just say, Hey, what do you want to do for Mother’s Day? “An open-ended question puts the pressure on her to figure it out,” said Ebert.
Instead, give her options. “You could ask, ‘Would you prefer to have the house to yourself or go out? If you’d rather go out, do you want to go as a family or with your friends?” she said. “Get some information without making her feel like she has to direct the whole day.”
: Get creative about getting creative: There isn’t a mom around who wouldn’t proudly display a handmade card, but you can go one better by helping your kids write her a song.
“First, think of the core message you want to get across, maybe emphasizing one of her character traits,” said Grant Shellen, bass player in the surf-rock band Aloha Screwdriver. “Then try to paint a picture of a few moments in time,” like playing at the park or making soup for a sick kid.
When it comes to song structure, three verses alternating with a repeated chorus works well, said Shellen. “The chorus should have the lines you want to be the most memorable or representative of what the song is about.”
Involving others can add a layer of meaning to a gift.
“When we gave my son a record player, we asked his older cousins to choose an album and write a note about why they love it,” said Jordan Ferney, founder of Oh Happy Day, a website about celebrating.
If you have siblings, “collaborate on a handwritten list of things you love about your mom,” said John Ruhlin, founder of Giftology Group, a corporate gifting consultancy.
: Spruce up her surroundings: “Look around your space and think about what will make her feel cared for,” said Marianne Canada, lifestyle expert for HGTV.com and host of the HGTV podcast “Obsessed.”
If she wants to spend the day luxuriating in an empty house, “Start with a clean slate and tidy up,” said Canada. “Make the bed with crisp, clean sheets. The kids can help.”
You still have time to print and frame a special photo. “How many of us have a hard drive of photos they’d love to print?” she said.
If she has a green thumb, a potted citrus tree will outlast a floral arrangement. Canada recommends a dwarf Meyer lemon or a calamondin orange tree.
“You can plant them outdoors if you’re in the right zone, but if you aren’t, good drainage, citrus potting mix and a sunny window is all you need,” she said. “Add a wheeled plant tray, so she can move them around throughout the year. Nothing makes you feel fancier than thinking, ‘It’s a lovely sunny day, I should wheel the orange tree outside.’”
: Take note: A vacuum cleaner is never a hit. (“An appliance is a gift for the whole household, not for one person,” said Canada.) However, a session with a professional organizer can be a helpful way to bring calm.
: Make it nice: If you have a printer, you’re halfway toward presentation perfection. Skip the cheesy Hallmark sentiments and download stylish wrapping paper, gift tags or cards from the design website Almost Makes Perfect.
“I’m a big believer in Mother’s Day being about all types of moms,” said Molly Madfis, a designer whose work includes printed materials for stepmoms and mothers-in-law, too. Use regular printing paper for the gift wrap, said Madfis, and card stock for the rest.
Ferney raises her gifting game by using regular household supplies for wrapping. “Neon pink string from the hardware store makes everything feel bright,” she said. She also has her kids paint paper grocery bags, then match a ribbon in the same color scheme.
: Upgrade your usual offerings: For maximum impact, Ferney recommends choosing one thing and going over the top. For her beer-loving partner, she made a customized beer sampler from a dozen different types of beer.
“You can do that with anything,” she said. “Just pick their favorite candy, food or snack.”
And if you really want your gift to stand out, give it early.
“You remember the people who show up first, last or biggest,” said Ruhlin. To avoid looking like you mixed the date up, he said, include a handwritten note. “Say something like, ‘You’re so special to me, I just couldn’t wait. I wanted to be the first to wish you a happy Mother’s Day.’”