Building bonds before my kid goes to college
I’m looking at a door. There is absolutely nothing remarkable about this door … except that my 17-year-old daughter is on the other side of it.
She’s taking a ballet class. And this door separates the eager young dancers in the studio from the bored, middle-aged parents in the waiting area.
Like so many parents, I have spent much of my life sitting outside doors like this. Or along the sidelines of soccer fields and basketball courts. And for much of life, I did so with a put-upon sigh.
Sure, I liked the games and recitals. But I drove to lessons and practices mainly to fulfill a parental obligation — and was oh-so-sure I had other things that I could instead be doing.
Important things, like work. Only now things are different. Now, I fight for the chance to sit outside that door.
Because my daughter is a senior in high school. She’s going to be gone — away at college — in a few months. And it finally dawned on me that sitting outside this door — where I can hear muffled piano music, giggles, groans and the occasional “Grand jeté!” command — is a pretty special place to be.
So, even though our daughter is completely capable of driving herself wherever she needs to go, my wife and I find ourselves jousting for the chance to chauffeur her … for one more chance to sit outside that door.
But then, a few weeks ago, something interesting happened.
My daughter returned from an audition at a local community theater, and she was bummed. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “They don’t have enough adult males auditioning,” she said. “They’re not sure they’re going to be able to put on the show.”
Suddenly it hit me: I’m an adult male.
I may not be handsome, talented or, on many mornings, capable of drinking coffee without spilling some on my shirt. But I am, in fact, an adult male.
This was my chance … to get behind the door.
When I told my daughter that I might be able to do the show, her eyes lit up with joy.
Now, for those of you who have never actually been around a teenager, you should know: Their eyes never light up with