Show compassion in debate over proposed Pulse memorial
My son, Jerry Wright, was one of the 49 killed at Pulse in Orlando. I know firsthand the unimaginable pain, trauma, and grief of this horrific act. I also know that every mother who will never hold their child again after that night feels a lifelong ache, unspeakable longing, and suffers every day from this cruel blow. I also respect and recognize that each mother, survivor and relative of the victims process their pain differently and we have a right to do so — it is that terrible and it
hurts that much. We all react differently depending who we are and our experiences. I can only speak to my experience.
Long before the first anniversary of the massacre, Barbara Poma reached out to us through the Orlando United Assistance Center. It was a very kind letter asking very humbly to meet or communicate. We did meet with her the next time we went to Orlando. Honestly, I was very leery of meeting her and unsure how I would react. But she was kind, honest, and forthright in discussing the most painful of subjects. She openly expressed her wish to make of this hallowed ground a memorial. She told us of her visits to the Oklahoma City and 9⁄11 Memorials.
My husband and I expressed to her that for us it was very important that history learn something from this hateful act. We have also been to the 9⁄11 Memorial, as well as to the Anne Frank House in Holland, the Apartheid Museum in South Africa, and Hiroshima in Japan. This convinced us long ago how important it is that we remind humanity what it costs when we do not do all we can to keep peace with each other and give in to hate. Now in our country’s history this lesson is even more important.
We also openly expressed our doubts that she would be able to do this monumental task, especially with the way some families felt about her. We declined to be part of the Task Force or be actively involved. Along with our doubts, we have dedicated ourselves to do all we can to prevent gun violence and we honor our son and all those taken by gun violence in this manner every day. It is our personal and living memorial and it’s something we can do now.
But we are also grateful that the OnePulse Foundation has kept us informed of the progress and has invited us to participate in every meeting either in person or through technology. My entire
family submitted the survey that asked our preferences for a memorial and I personally witnessed the meeting where the results were announced. One of the last reports sent to us was the list of architectural firms that were the finalists to be considered for the design. I asked my niece, who is a Harvard-graduated architect, about them. She told me that they are all world-renowned. We have also been invited to a meeting in early August to inform families more about these firms, their vision, and next steps.
Every mother affected by this horrific act of hate has a right to her pain, sorrow, and anger. Our children were killed unfairly and horribly. Everyone else needs to show compassion for those of us going through what is unimaginable. The same compassion needs to be shown the survivors of that living nightmare.
But there is much being said in social media and even in the press about the Pulse Memorial/Museum and the people involved. Many different versions are now circulating all around. I felt compelled to share my experience as a Pulse mother and our experience as a family with the OnePulse Foundation, so that the public can add this to their information as they make their conclusions on the matter. For me, Barbara Poma and the OnePulse Foundation have been informative, inclusive, and open in their dealing with the Museum/Memorial. There has already been too much pain and too much anguish around Pulse. For those taken from us, for those who relive this nightmare in memories they can’t evade, for all of us — we cannot let hate win.