Try zipping a lip

Every thought isn’t meant to be expressed

With age is supposed to come wisdom. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told. The details of exactly how that progression takes place are generally not covered.

My personal journey toward age-generated knowledge, such as it is, has tended to follow the “blind pig finds an acorn every now and then” model, filtered through the concept that good decisions come from experience and experience comes from bad decisions.

Having established that anything resembling the wisdom of the ages has, for me, been somewhat of a trial-and-error process, I can say there are certain areas about which I have little specific, but plenty of general, knowledge.

Take social media.

Without getting into details or merits, recent events would indicate there are those among us who may not be living their best lives or putting their best foot (or feet, since some of these folks are frequent offenders) forward when it comes to expressive avenues like Twitter. Exactly like Twitter. OK, Twitter.

Now I’m not much of a Twitterer myself. In fact, I’m so little a Twitterer that I’m not even sure people who use the app are referred to as Twitterers. Probably not.

Nothing personal. It’s just that I do have a oncea-week opportunity/commitment to this space and I only have so much wit (such as it is) to go around. And I can’t order my coffee in just 280 characters.

So I definitely don’t have a lot of tips about exactly what you should say on Twitter. In fact, my only advice at this point is, do you have to?

See, every time I come across one more incident where some celebrity or another has gotten into trouble because they just couldn’t resist the urge to hit send on what they were sure in the moment was the most clever thing in the world, I have to ask: Why?

So before you decide to jump on the Twitter Crazy Train, let me share with you some hardwon insights. Acorns that the blind pig has found, as it were.

First off, let’s establish this. It’s possible, heck, preferable to have an unexpressed thought. If the road to Twitter hell is paved with anything, it’s the seemingly overwhelming need to let the world in on every little id-ish twist and turn. We’re not judging whether the thoughts you (or, say, political leaders or comedians) might have are good ideas. We’re judging whether it’s a good idea for you to express them.

Second, while Mark Twain may not have specifically had Twitter in mind, mostly since it wouldn’t be invented for years, he captured the essence of the thing when he wrote that “it’s easier to stay out than get out.” If only more folks appreciated that when it comes to sharing thoughts on Social Media. Or if only I had appreciated it during most of my college career.

Also, the reality of most jokes in that they’re either a lot funnier or a lot less funny than you think. That’s the oddity of humor. Problem is, with Twitter, you tend to find out pretty quickly. About the time your television show gets cancelled, for instance.

And finally, that we can speak freely is one of the cornerstones of our democracy, well worth defending or dying for. However, if the only defense you can come up with is that you can say whatever you want in this country, well, that’s the “it seemed like a good idea at the time” of defenses for stupid Twitter rants. In other words, the sort of thing people usually say from hospital beds or jail cells.

The right to free expression is not the right to be shielded from the consequences of that expression. Which is what that police officer was trying to explain to me, I’m pretty sure.

The beauty and reality of advice is you don’t actually have to be an expert, or even good at something to tell other people how to do it. In fact, more often than not, the most frequent advice-givers are the absolutely least qualified to give said advice.

So, in that context, I’m consultant-grade when it comes to social media. But whatever my shortcomings in the more technical aspects, age and experience have taught me one thing.

Don’t do stupid stuff, though if you do, you won’t be alone.

It’s possible, heck, preferable to have an unexpressed thought. If the road to Twitter hell is paved with anything, it’s the seemingly overwhelming need to let the world in on every little id-ish twist and turn. We’re not judging whether the thoughts you (or, say, political leaders or comedians) might have are good ideas. We’re judging whether it’s a good idea for you to express them.