DEAR ABBY:
Alcoholism robs woman of support post-gastric bypass.
Dear Abby:
I am a single mother of two young children.
I decided to have gastric bypass surgery several years ago. Nine months after the procedure, I began drinking alcohol. The drinking became progressively heavier, and within a few months I was a fullblown alcoholic. It’s as if I gave up binge eating for binge drinking. It took a year of struggle to stop.
I am now almost three months sober. But with sobriety I have lost a lot of the kindness from my support system. Despite my many apologies, some have cut ties to me completely.
I believe their efforts to encourage me to seek help were driven by the fact I was a drunk mom. They wanted help for me so I could be a fit parent. However, now that I am in recovery, they no longer want to be a part of my life.
Am I justified to feel insulted by their lack of support and happiness for me now that I’m healthy and being the best mom I can?
— Sober But Sad in Iowa
Dear Sober But Sad:
It would be healthier to keep your eye on the positive and be grateful for the help you were given. It would also be healthier for you to associate with people who make you feel good about yourself. Dear Abby:
I turned 17 last month. I have a boyfriend who is 20, but my parents don’t know about him. He wants to get an apartment and have me move in with him on my 18th birthday. However, I promised my mother and father that I would take care of them. I want him to find an apartment nearby, with the promise that I’ll move in with him when I’m ready. How can I do that without disappointing him or hurting my parents’ feelings?
— Undecided in Pennsylvania
Dear Undecided:
Stop hiding this man from your parents. If his feelings for you are sincere, he would want to meet them, and he wouldn’t ask you to do anything you weren’t ready to do.
While the idea of moving in with him may seem romantic, there are more important things you need to accomplish before you do. First among them is to become self-supporting. That way, if things don’t work out with him as you would like, you won’t be out on the street with nowhere to go.
Children weren’t put on this Earth to spend their adult lives taking care of their parents. Unless yours are the exception, both of them should be young and vigorous enough to take care of each other.