You may not wear your tiara to a brunch or a wedding
Dear Miss Manners:
I recollect that you cited only two occasions on which you can wear tiaras — the opera and visiting with royalty. Lately, the subject has arisen in connection with a guest wearing her tiara to a wedding. Can you enlighten me? Gentle Reader:
In theory, Miss Manners is all for the return of the tiara. Traditionally, ladies always “dressed” their hair, with jewels or flowers — hence the surviving term “hairdressing.”
So she will overcome her resistance to seeming flexible and add that she is mildly charmed by ladies who top off evening clothes with those lovely objects that have been neglected for decades. Indeed, some tiaras can be adapted to be worn below a chignon, to the side of a French twist or as necklaces.
But even royalty doesn’t wear tiaras on all occasions. Never to brunch, for example. And noblesse oblige requires not wearing a headdress that might mimic that of the chief figure. So one may wear a tiara in the presence of a queen but not an actual crown, and not a tiara in the presence of a bride who might use one to secure her veil. Dear Miss Manners:
I am a uniformed security officer in a high-rise office building lobby. Part of my job is to greet tenants and visitors with, “Hello, how are you today?” or, “Have a nice day.” At night, I say, “Good night. Drive safe,” or a similarly upbeat greeting. I am a people person and love this part of my job.
Am I being rude or intrusive if the people are talking on cellphones or reading text messages? My boss wants all lobby patrons to know that a security officer is present, and greeting folks is what she told me to do. Gentle Reader:
As a security guard, you are undoubtedly called upon to exercise discretion. Miss Manners supposes that you must be constantly judging whom you need to keep watching and who legitimately belongs there.
Your greetings need not be standardized, either. Some people will welcome a spoken greeting, some may be acknowledged merely with a pleasant nod, and some may notice your presence only when you step forward to usher them out. Your boss asked you to greet people, not to annoy them.