Leaders should speak with respect
What we say matters. Our speech has the power to either create or destroy. The Book of Proverbs teaches that the “tongue has the might of life and death.”
According to common rabbinic teachings, the sin of “Loshen Horah” (or malicious speech) is akin to an act of murder; bad speech can ruin reputations, break people’s hearts, and shatter people’s spirits.
Conversely, language utilized properly can improve relationships, bolster people’s confidence, and strengthen both spirit and resolve.
In Genesis, we learn that God created the universe through the act of divine speech: “God said let there be light, and there was light.” Liturgically, if we don’t know the correct prayer to say in a given circumstance, we can always recite the blessing that we “Bless God, ruler of our universe, who created all through God’s divine speech.”
Our words create the reality of our lives. This is why parents are careful to teach their children how they should properly speak to others.
When leaders indulge in the sin of utilizing language for nonholy purposes, they lead society to a dangerous cliff. Demagoguery is the tool by which to excite people’s biases and move them from rational behaviors to irrational.
From this cliff, the person can be influenced to drop off from a posture of civility and tolerance to a valley of incivility and intolerance. And, it’s in this valley that all too often we rediscover the threat of the shadow of senseless violence.
Jews historically have known the victimhood that comes with people who were encouraged to incubate their antiJewish biases. Hateful speech and dehumanizing language have always led the Jews to a precarious situation. It is for this reason that Judaism has mandated that we firmly resolve to both not use improper language and to try to get others to do the same.
In this age of social media, the challenge is even greater than before. The sin of “Loshen Horah” has found its newest and perhaps most effective weapon.
We can choose to not engage in negative language, and insist that we dialogue with others within rational and respectful parameters.
We can also demand that our leaders, irrespective of their political views, do the same.
Hillel taught 2000 years ago the Golden Rule: “What is hateful to you, don’t do to another. Everything else is commentary within our Torah.”
Emily Dickinson’s poems are some great pearls of wisdom, with an economic few words. She wrote one:
A word is dead When it is said, Some say. I say it just Begins to live That day.
We never know whether a word or sentence casually uttered will be heard, or read, and remembered, replayed and internalized, by others.
Words do live and once launched they can live for seconds or years.
A kind word can stop despair and destruction. Cruel words can create chaos.
A harsh word from a parent, a disingenuous word from a friend, an encouraging word from a stranger ... all may live in the mind and spirit of those who receive those words and are impacted and shaped by them.
We humans are wired to want to be heard, and it’s this selfsame wiring that often interferes with our own abilities to hear others.
Communicating is a superpower. Many of us forget this. With communication, there is always its spouse, listening.
It takes discipline to set aside personal agendas and really actively listen to another.
However, this concrete effort leads to richer, more meaningful relationships; even with those for whom we might disagree.
Sacred relationships will always be forged within the furnace of love that creates a discipline for always utilizing sacred words in support of our sacred acts.
Whether our words are in voice or in print or on screens, they should be chosen carefully and with hope and harmony in mind.
Rabbi Mitchell M. Hurvitz is senior rabbi at Temple Sholom of Greenwich, cofounder of the Sholom Center for Interfaith Learning and Fellowship and is president of the Greenwich Fellowship of Clerg y. For an archive of past columns, visit www.templesholom.com.