Father haunts grown child in dreams

DEAR HARRIETTE >> For the past few months, I have had a lot of dreams about my late father. We had a complex relationship. I know he loved me, but he was really hard on me. It felt like nothing I did was good enough. He really did a number on my head. And now, more than 10 years later, he is still in my head.

I've been working on a big project at work, and when I can't sleep at night, he creeps into my head. It's not helpful. I now wake up exhausted with all of these thoughts about how I am going to mess things up. How can I end this harassment that is continuing from beyond the grave?

— Out of My Head

DEAR OUT OF MY HEAD >>

Rather than panicking, notice what your father is telling you in your dreams. Is there any good advice within his messages? Without passing judgment, do your best to notice what he's saying. Clearly, your father imparted valuable wisdom to you when he was alive. Maybe he continues to do the same now.

Some people believe that their ancestors literally send messages to them from the afterlife. Others believe that the messages you heard over and over again when you were growing up bubble forth at key moments as you recall your father.

You can decide for yourself where you think the messages are coming from. You may also want to seek out counseling so that you can sort through your thoughts and memories and get to a more peaceful place about your father.

DEAR HARRIETTE >> A woman who is peripheral to my social circle passed away a month ago. It was sudden, and to the best of my knowledge, she was not ill. Her death has shaken our friend group. Now, every time I feel even the slightest bit sick, I run to the doctor.

I don't want to become a hypochondriac or anything, but I'm worried. My friend was only 50 years old, and she seemed healthy. I'm not sure what killed her, but I want to do my part to make sure I don't drop dead out of the blue. What can I do?

— In a Panic

DEAR IN A PANIC >> You are not wrong to be conscious of your health. However, you also know that people can die at any age. Additionally, you know that tomorrow is not promised. Your friend's untimely passing proves that.

Yes, it is wise to check your health. Get a complete physical annually. Share details of your personal health history as fully as you can recall. Be sure to share your family's health history as well.

Next, think about what you do to take care of yourself. What are your health rituals? What do you eat? Drink? What is your exercise routine? Your sleep patterns? Evaluate how you live and consider whether there are things you can improve upon that may prolong a healthy life. You can make some changes that will enhance your quality of life.

Worrying is not the solution. Choosing to live a dynamic, healthy life is.