Dayton-area granny parties at her own wake
If all goes well, the celebration held last month for 83-year-old Mary Lou Spangler, a Hospice of Dayton patient, will not be her last.
The thought of family members and friends gathering to celebrate Mary Lou Spangler’s life did not sound fun to Mary Lou.
Problem is, the Ohio’s Hospice of Dayton patient would be dead and there would most likely be a good deal of weeping.
“Being a party girl, I did not want them to (party) without me,” Mary Lou said.
It took the former educator for Vandalia Butler Schools’ Latchkey program just four weeks to plan her own end of life/life celebration at the Vandalia VFW hall.
She got a few strange looks when she said what she wanted.
There were no formal invitations or RSVPs for the celebration held Sept 3.
Through word of mouth, more than 200 friends and family members showed up to party with Mary Lou.
Mary Lou said there were no tears.
“It was a great party,” she told this news organization. “We had no idea who was coming. We had an open bar. We had food. We had karaoke.”
At the party dubbed “Mary Lou’s Big A-Wake,” the guest of honor wore a name tag that read “The Queen” and drank from a personalized wine glass.
Four of Mary Lou’s six children and several of her 17 grandchildren were there, as were greatgrandchildren and her “girls’ night out” crew.
Several of her kids’ friends also made the epic bash.
Mary Lou said her family’s house on five acres in Butler Twp., Montgomery County was always filled with children in life.
“When you have six kids, you always get more (kids),” Mary Lou said.
Mary Lou also always threw a good party.
“I love the idea of filling my house up with people,” she said.
Battling chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and a long list of other ailments, Mary Lou became a Hospice of Dayton patient in May.
At first she was in denial about why her hospice nurses, her favorite Jayne Ormberg included, were there.
She decided to think of them as a “nice group of people coming to help.”
But as her condition continued to deteriorate, Mary Lou said she started to face her own mortality.
“I was trying to accept the fact that I am going to die, and that’s kind of hard to do,” she said. “They (Hospice of Dayton) try to make your quality of life better.”
Mary Lou has her good days and her bad days, but the party is not over for her.
Her name hasn’t been in the obit section yet, and she says she intends to keep hanging out with her grandkids and friends as long as she can.
Her list of ailments does not include diabetes, so she plans to have all the wine, candy and sweets she wants.
Mary Lou celebrated her 83rd birthday on Thursday, Oct. 26 with dinner and wine at the Oakwood Club.
And if all goes good, that September “wake” will not be her last.
“I think I am probably going to do it again,” she said proudly.