Man asks his girlfriend to decline a wedding role
TCM, 8 p.m.
Legendary stop-motion special effects master Ray Harryhausen achieved what is probably his greatest triumph in terms of bringing the fantastical to thrilling life in this 1963 feature based on the ancient Greek tale about the hero Jason (Todd Armstrong), who leads the men of his ship the in a quest to find the fabled Golden Fleece. The human characters and actors here are fairly “meh”; the gods, played by actors like Niall MacGinnis as Zeus and Honor Blackman as Hera, are more interesting and fun. But the real stars of the film are the various Harryhausencreated monsters that Jason and crew encounter and battle along the way in a series of spectacular set pieces that are still pretty thrilling to watch today. There are harpies; the multi-headed Hydra that guards the Fleece; Talos, the enormous, sword-wielding bronze statue that springs to life to pursue the men; and, of course, the iconic skeleton army, born from the teeth of the slain Hydra, that fights the Argonauts in an amazing, climactic battle that took Harryhausen and his team four months of painstaking attention to detail to pull off. All of the fantasy action is set to a rousing musical score by Bernard Herrmann.
Dear Abby: I am a 29-year-old man who has been with a fantastic woman, 25, for the last year. I believe she is The One. We have moved quickly and have already settled into an apartment together.
Recently, she was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding between her ex’s cousin and a friend she met through her ex. Her ex will be a part of the wedding. She isn’t very close with this friend. It seems like the bride-to-be doesn’t have many other friends.
It is clear to me that my girlfriend really wants to attend this wedding. I asked her to see if we could attend the wedding without her being a bridesmaid, but she’s under the impression that we wouldn’t be invited otherwise. I felt like I couldn’t say no, so I agreed to go if she agreed she wouldn’t attend any event where her ex would be present. But now she has agreed to be a bridesmaid, and I find myself getting upset every time the wedding is mentioned. I haven’t begun to feel resentful toward her, but I’m worried this may change as the wedding draws closer. I want to be supportive, but I also can’t ignore that I am clearly not OK with this arrangement. What should I do?
New Boyfriend in Connecticut
Dear Boyfriend: You should not be placing stipulations on your girlfriend, who is part of the wedding. For her to back out on her promise to be in the bridal party would be bad form. Pressuring her to do that is childish on your part.
You have an opportunity to be a hero and conquer your insecurity. Grab hold of it and send your girlfriend to the wedding ... alone. And when you do, smile, give her a hug and tell her you hope she has a good time, and that you will be waiting with open arms when she gets back.
Dear Abby: “Shattered in New York” (Jan. 14) was struggling with the fact that her wife, “Sandy,” was supporting a friend entering into a new relationship soon after her wife was admitted into a dementia care facility. The reality is, the person you love no longer exists. Yes, physically they are there, but the person they once were is not, and it’s devastating.
My dad has dementia, and while my mom makes sure he’s safe, happy and visits him every day, she is certainly no longer in a marriage with an actual partner. She is alone, and we all support her finding companionship while Dad is alive.
It’s incredibly unfair to expect someone in that situation to wait alone, potentially for years, for their spouse to pass. You doubted that Sandy would want Shattered to move on if Sandy were in that situation. I feel confident that she is understanding enough that she would.
Knows How It Is
Dear Knows: I would hope so, but if my mail is any indication, there are no guarantees. This is a complicated situation, and the solution has to be something appropriate for everyone involved.
Contact Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.