THE INVISIBLE MAN
Marshall skips out on waiting media after two- TD game
Paging Mr. Brandon Marshall! Come in, pugilist/ receiver!
Interesting, isn’t it, that after catching seven passes for 90 yards and two touchdowns in the Bears’ 21- 13 triumph Sunday against the Minnesota Vikings— their first victory at Soldier Field in almost a year— motormouth Marshall was nowhere to be found?
The guy who once reeled off a 45- minute soliloquy on his tattered past, complete with printouts, couldn’t be bothered to speak about his most recent past.
The man who rises to the bait of an Instagram moron from Detroit, challenging said moron to a fight for $ 25,000, didn’t rise to the media who mainly wanted to ask him about the great game he and fellow receiver Alshon Jeffery had.
And their performance was great. Targeted by quarterback Jay Cutler a combined 27 times, they caught 18 passes for 225 yards and three touchdowns. Each made stunning catches in traffic, on jump balls, while twisting their bodies, with gloved hands like ice clamps.
Jeffery’s touchdown came early in the second quarter, just when it seemed the Bears were going down the drain again. They trailed 10- 0 after missing a field goal and being fooled for a 48- yard gain on a fake punt. Jeffery snared an underthrown ball from Cutler in the end zone, wherein he forced 5- 10 cornerback Josh Robinson to grab him and commit pass interference. ( It was declined, of course.)
For the first time in a while, we got to see the advantages that always have been here with two Pro Bowl receivers who are fast, have long arms and huge hands and average 6- 3 ½ and 223 pounds.
‘‘[ The Vikings] played a lot of man- to- man, so I guess we took advantage of it,’’ Jeffery said.
It was Marshall who did the rest of the scoring. His first touchdown catch come on a beautiful arc from Cutler, who scrambled and got smeared after he heaved the ball, which Marshall caught over Vikings safety Harrison Smith in the end zone.
It was a remarkable 44- yard touchdown on a pass that traveled more than 50 yards and was notable for the way Marshall snagged it. He had to thrust his hands out like a snake’s tongue, just a blur, or else Smith could have defended him. Only the best receivers on the planet know how to— and are able to— make such a play.
Marshall’s second touchdown catch came from four yards out with six minutes gone in the fourth quarter. Standing on the right side, he waved his arms furiously to get Cutler’s attention. The shrimp Robinson was on him, man- to- man.
We’ll assume Cutler saw the giftwrapped package before Marshall’s jumping jacks. At any rate, Marshall ran straight into the end zone and pivoted in front of the helpless cornerback. Cutler promptly nailed him with a bullet up high.
‘‘ We try to put the ball in a place where they can use their body in the catch radius,’’ coach Marc Trestman said.
That’s football- ese for, ‘‘ We’ve got big S. O. B. s for targets, so hit ’ em, Jay.’’
That was the plan back when we thought the Bears might have the most dynamic offense in team history. Last season, they had the second- best scoring offense in the league. Why hasn’t it been better this season?
We can’t get too excited by a victory against the Vikings, who have a rookie quarterback in Teddy Bridgewater and played without suspended All- Pro running back Adrian Peterson. But, you know, maybe those blowout losses to the New England Patriots and Green Bay Packers came against the two best teams in the league.
Why, there’s still a possibility the Bears will go 10- 6. Won’t happen, but it’s possible.
And don’t you think that’s something our verbal buddy Marshall would like to chat about?
At his locker, he put on his underwear, grabbed his big roller bag and left the room. He was ‘‘ getting treatment,’’ we were told. He’d be back. Wait. Wait some more. I asked Jeffery where Marshall was.
‘‘ I mean, if he ain’t at his locker, I don’t know,’’ he said. Working on his jab, perhaps? One cheerful fellow in the locker room was defensive end Willie Young. After his late sack of Bridgewater, he did a celebratory ice- fishing pantomime. Usually, he does an Ernest Hemingway- style cast- and- hook. Too cold Sunday.
‘‘ I was feeding line through the hole,’’ he said. ‘‘ Stirring up the water.’’ What did he hook? ‘‘ Perch,’’ he answered with a grin. ‘‘ But if it had been at our 25 with 30 seconds left? An 80- inch muskie!’’
Hear that, Brandon? There’s a new storyteller in town.