TALES FROM THE FRONT

Bad experience can make you regret what you lost

TKAREN: One month after I turned 18, I had my first sexual experience — with another woman. Over the course of the next 13 years, I was in three lesbian relationships. The shame of it is that I’m not gay. I was afraid of men and had such a terrible self-image that I felt unworthy of them.

I’ve had many years of therapy since then. When I was 31, I experienced my first heterosexual intercourse. The man was 25 years older than me, and I’m still with him 26 years later.

The tragedy does not end there. I haven’t had sex for nearly 20 years because he’s impotent! Now doesn’t your sex life sound fantastic? he first time.

We invest so much energy thinking about who it’s going to be with, what it’s going to be like, and how we’ll feel afterward that it’s no wonder that it rarely lives up to the hype.

KELSEY: I’m not exactly sure when I lost my virginity. My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. He was impotent on our wedding night and our honeymoon. But he kept plugging away, and at some point, I guess he was successful, but you couldn’t prove it by me.

That’s why I always say I was a virgin when I got married, both times!

HANK: I lost it on a hot and sweaty night with a very forgettable girl when I was 16. I wish I’d started younger, like my friends. I came of age in the ’70s. Very few of us left high school still a virgin. Oddly enough, the world didn’t come to an end.

HOLLY: I was 28. It was at a party with a girl I’d just met that night. I was attracted to her, but I wish it had been with someone I loved, someone I’d known for a long time. To be honest, it was quite an awkward experience. It really was not how I imagined it. I felt like I should have known what

GEORGE: My wife and I were both virgins when we said, “I do.” We stayed loyal and had no affairs through 53 years of marriage. I’m proud my sweet one was the only woman I ever slept with. No worry about diseases or guilt trips. We grew in our intimate relationship with each other. I was with her when she took her last breath.

I’m still fully satisfied with fond memories, starting with the honeymoon and through those wonderful years together. I’m not preaching, and I may be bragging, but a life of honor with one person sure has its rewards. It’s not easy and takes a lot of focus and respect for your spouse.

cheryllavin rapp@gmail.com.