Here’s how parents can help kids cope with a pandemic winter
After three seasons of this pandemic during which kids could mostly cure their cabin fever with bike rides and socially distanced outdoor games, we’re staring down the next few months of winter, where one short day pushes into the next short day. The kids are done. D-O-N-E. The parents are out of ideas and patience. And yet, we have no choice but to navigate this time as we continue to work, go to school and attempt to still like one another when this is over.
So how are we going to get through these upcoming cold, dark days? I asked experts and parents for their ideas.
Prioritize connection
“When you think about mental health, that naturally involves socializing and connecting with people,” says Lucy McBride, a D.C. doctor, mother of three teens and author of a helpful newsletter about covid-19. “We’re wired for survival, but also for connection. We can’t expect ourselves to survive in our rooms alone in lockdown.” And so it’s imperative we think creatively about how to be with other people – and to help our kids do the same – “to maintain some semblance of mental and emotional health.”
Younger children, in particular, may need some help to figure out how to still “be” with friends. It may help children if you ask them, “What does your joy look like today?” says Vanessa Joy Walker, author of “Make Room for Joy.” “If it’s ‘I wish I could play with my friends,’ then help them figure out how to create a connection.” Try an online Netflix watch party, where kids each make popcorn and wear pajamas “together,” or a dog fashion show held via Zoom.
“Instead of trying to avoid the difficulty” of this time, Walker says, “spend your energy doing something else, like creating an environment that makes sense for this normal.”
That also means finding ways to connect with your child, no matter their age. Even though many of us are together, all day, every day, we may not realize how little we’re making time for moments to truly be with one another.
But, McBride says, be realistic: Don’t expect a day filled with games and fun with your teenagers, necessarily, and don’t nag them to hang out or get outside or go do something. Kids will connect with you if you “provide a nonjudgmental safe space. You’re not agitating on things that aren’t realistic,” she says. And so, for instance, when her teenage middle child takes a quick walk with her to the Giant for brownie mix, and they chat along the way, she sees that as a good connection.
Get outside, even if it’s cold
We also have to get comfortable with being outside in colder weather, McBride says. Outdoor gatherings with family friends, kid friends, other parents and their kids, even if the gathering is brief and cold, will help us all get through. She suggests we prioritize those gatherings “at a distance, of course.”
The time outside doesn’t have to last forever. This is when your kids can take those pandemic puppies outside to play, or to teach them a trick. Set up a socially distant fire pit for the teens. Find new paths to walk and explore in the neighborhood.