We were only kidding, honest
Two armed robbers stormed into a cellphone store in Paterson, N.J., and demanded money, so the manager slipped out a back door and into an adjacent office. He locked that door, went outside and slammed shut a metal gate in front of the store, trapping the thieves inside. People gathered outside and laughed at them.
HEY, THAT’S WHAT MY PARENTS SAID ABOUT MY DOG, SKIPPY ... A rooster named Steve had been harassing the residents of several neighborhoods in Forest Grove, Ore. So animal control officials captured him, and announced that he will be taken to a farm upstate and set free. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN ... WHAT THE ... A 42-year-old woman who had been pulled over for drunken driving in Madison, Wis., cracked open a beer right in front of the police officer. WHAT DO YOU MEAN “IT’S NOT A CRIME!?” ... A 15-year-old Canadian girl called the police emergency number to complain that her parents “forced her” to go on vacation with them at a rented cottage in Trent Hills, which is far to the northeast of Toronto. She was advised that this is a misuse of the police number.
WE’LL DO WHAT WE CAN, BUT IT DOESN’T LOOK GOOD ... A frantic man drove his pickup truck to the main entrance of a major hospital in Perth, Australia, to demand that his passenger be given emergency medical treatment. He was so “high on meth” that he didn't realize that the man had been dead for at least a day.
I THINK YOU’VE MADE YOUR POINT, MA’AM ... A woman's attempt to buy $2,200 worth of gift cards at a Safeway in Springfield, Ore., was refused because her check did not clear due to insufficient funds. So she drove her SUV right through the glass doors on the west side of the building, went all the way to the back of the store, drove back down the aisle to the door in reverse, then smashed through the east doors and drove out.
ROOFTOP, ROOFTOP, ROOFTOP, SEX, ROOFTOP ... HEY, WAIT! ... A man went to the top of a building to film a panoramic view of some decorative rooftops in Astana, Kazakhstan, in the bright sunshine when his camera suddenly spied an amorous naked couple gleefully and obliviously engaged in sexual congress on an adjacent roof.
BUT WE WERE GETTING ALONG SO WELL ... An 80-year-old man was watching TV with a woman in her 20s at his South Euclid, Ohio home. (He did not know her last name, and how she came to be in his home is unclear.) Anyhoo, she had him go downstairs to make her a hot dog, and, when he got back, she was gone. So were his car, house keys and wallet which contained his credit cards and $380 in cash. I SAID, WE WANT BURGERS! ... A woman who was “very clearly extremely intoxicated” and pulled up at the drive-thru window of the Dairy Queen in Belfast, Maine, insisted that she was at a McDonalds and demanded that the staff serve her children a Happy Meal.