Vampire version of ‘Office’ needs a soul
Sexist jokes, lackluster script makes for bad movie.
Vampires are the best workers, especially at soulless companies.
That’s the comedic message of “Bloodsucking Bastards,” where the bosses decide everything will be better if their shiftless sales center employees are turned into vampires.
Fran Kranz is the hapless hero, Evan, but it takes a long time for him to get a clue that everyone is being attacked and turned into pasty-faced bloodsuckers. He might be overlooking a few strange things because he’s up for a promotion, and it’s best not to make waves.
He’s also walking on eggshells because his office romance with Amanda (Emma Fitzpatrick) has taken a turn for the worse. His best pal in the office, Tim ( Joey Kern), isn’t much help, either. Rather than making sales calls, he just plays video games on his computer.
Yes, the office does need shaking up, and even Evan understands that. But when Evan loses his promotion to his longtime enemy, Max (Pedro Pascal), life really gets awful.
Max promises there will be layoffs if folks don’t start selling “a bunch of useless crap to the fat losers in Alabama and bored housewives in Ohio.” And it appears that Max is going to be just what the company needed — a bloodsucking jerk.
He’s the top vampire, and he’s expanding his minions, slowly but surely.
It’s up to Evan, Tim and Amanda to forget their differences and put a stake through this dastardly boss. But can they?
“Bloodsucking,” directed by Brian James O’Connell and based on a script by the Los Angeles-based comedy group Dr. God, is basically a one-joke movie looking for a better screenplay.
While it’s not offensively violent, it’s full of sexist jokes. And while many viewers will be able to relate to jabs at bottom-feeding companies, they’ll probably wonder how such a lackluster script ever became a movie.