On that blessed birth

As Christmas neared, I settled back in my recliner late one afternoon and pondered the journey of Joseph and the very pregnant Mary to Bethlehem. I wondered what the unborn Jesus must have thought about the trip and his birth in a stable. Yawn. zzzzz. Dreamland.

The unborn Jesus 15 minutes into the trip, bumping along inside Mary riding on the donkey: “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? I want out of here.”

Much later, they finally stop and Joseph goes into the inn but returns shortly and tells Mary, “There is no room in the inn but they said we could stay in the barn.”

“Joseph, I told you to make reservations. But no. You procrastinated until it was too late.”

Unborn Jesus: “I’m not bouncing around in here any longer while you hunt for another place to stay.”

Mary: “Oh, oh! Get me to the stable, Joseph. Our baby is on the way.” They rush to the stable and Joseph finds some fresh, clean straw.

“Oh! Oh! Owwwww!” “Wahh! Wahh!”

Baby Jesus: “Whew. Finally.” He surveys his surroundings. “This place is a dump. No bed. No clean sheets. No blanket or pillow. Brrrr, I’m freezing. No heat.” Sniff, sniff. “Phewee. What’s that smell? You’ve got to be kidding me. My roomies are donkeys and sheep. Where’s the air freshener?”

“Get those swaddling clothes on the baby, Joseph. It’s cold in here.” Mary directed.

‘Baby Jesus: “Amen to that! I’m not believing this mess.”

Joseph wraps up Baby Jesus in swaddling clothes.

Baby Jesus: “I was expecting designer duds but this is better than nothing. But if Joseph doesn’t show some improvement pronto, I’m going to report him to Social Services.”

I woke up, rubbed my eyes and wondered if Baby Jesus had any idea of what a big job he had ahead of him. LARRY McNEAL

Waldo