COVID-19 causes rift between family
DEAR ABBY: I am a nurse in New York City. My boyfriend lives in Philadelphia. During the height of the pandemic, we didn’t see each other because I worked on a COVID unit and contracted the virus. His sister became very controlling and kept urging him not to see me, which brought me great pain.
At the end of May, my boyfriend and I began seeing each other regularly. Because he sees me, his sister refuses to see him, which makes me very sad.
When his family tries to plan things, his sister either comes late or doesn’t show up. I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend and his older father. His father has never expressed that he feels uncomfortable around me.
I want my boyfriend to spend time with his family, but she’s extremely controlling when everyone else in the family seems excited to see me. What do I do? — UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION
DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: I am assuming that if you are again working that you are tested regularly for COVID and therefore in no danger of giving the virus to anyone. Because there has been so much misinformation spread during the pandemic, many people are being extremely cautious — and rightfully so.
If you had a good relationship with your boyfriend’s sister before the pandemic began, recognize that she acts the way she does because she’s afraid for her life, so stop personalizing it and judging her for it. She has a right to protect herself, even if it seems irrational to you.
DEAR ABBY: As a grandparent, I feel the Christmas gift my husband and I received last year from our granddaughter was a gift of a lifetime. It was a gift of memories, written on 12 cards to be opened on the first day of each month.
The excitement generated while anxiously awaiting a new month’s arrival so the new memory could be read created enthusiasm among the entire family. In each envelope were experiences we had forgotten or never realized had made an impact on her life.
The concept could even be reversed so it would be from grandparent to grandchild. Few of us grandparents need material gifts, but the caring, thought and love shown by this gift will remain with us all our lives. — WANTED TO SHARE, FRESNO, CALIF.
DEAR WANTED TO SHARE: What a precious gift. I have long advocated that the most meaningful gift we can give each other is the gift of self, in the form of time, attention, a handwritten letter or a phone call. Your granddaughter’s concept of a “Memory of the Month Club” was ingenious. I congratulate her for it, and I hope it inspires others.