Albuquerque Journal

Woman filters out bad news

- ABIGAIL VAN BUREN Syndicated Columnist Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

DEAR ABBY: Clearly, America is in a state of turmoil. I am horrified and ashamed of the senseless death occurring daily.

I deal with anxiety, particular­ly regarding fear of death. As a result, the only thing I’ve found that I can do to cope with current events is to scan headlines, and ask my understand­ing husband for a synopsis of events that doesn’t include major triggers.

However, I feel serious guilt that I may not be fully educating myself on recent events. Am I wrong to prioritize my mental well-being over the gravity of our country’s current situation? — SERIOUS GUILT

DEAR SERIOUS GUILT: Wrong? Absolutely not! According to The Journal of the American Medical Associatio­n, 13 percent of Americans now use antidepres­sants to combat depression and anxiety. Our news media feed so many salacious details into our homes in the interest of high ratings that it’s a miracle the majority of Americans aren’t in need of them.

If you are getting the news you need to know, do not feel guilty for using your husband as a filter. You are only protecting yourself, and that’s not wrong. It’s HEALTHY.

DEAR ABBY: I need advice. I’m 23 and have been living with my boyfriend of almost two years. I have never been in a relationsh­ip before this one, so I have little experience. I love him dearly, but every time there’s an issue between us, it always becomes my fault and I’m always the one to apologize. What should I do? — INEXPERIEN­CED IN TAMPA

DEAR INEXPERIEN­CED: Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. You should not be forced into the role of perpetual peacekeepe­r by accepting the blame for everything, and it won’t improve your relationsh­ip.

Because your boyfriend’s preferred method of solving disagreeme­nts is laying the blame on you, suggest the two of you get couples counseling. However, if he refuses — and he may — you will then have to decide whether this is the way you want to spend the foreseeabl­e future because things aren’t likely to change.

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