MY EX WANTS ME TO KEEP HIS PORN HABIT SECRET

My husband and I separated two years ago because I discovered that he had an addiction to porn. Our sex life had been almost nonexistent for a while. It started to decline after I was very ill for about six months. I did try to initiate sex when I recovered but my husband seemed unenthusiastic and I felt rejected. We were arguing all the time. However, my in-laws have no idea of

Qthe real reason behind our split. They are lovely and I have remained close to them. Whenever I take their grandchildren to visit them, they ask if we can’t just patch up our differences. My ex begged me not to tell them about the porn. I have been much happier since we divorced but they just can’t understand why their son and I split up and I don’t know what to say any more.

Sadly porn is often the death knell for relationships and can really knock the other partner’s self-esteem. So please remember that this happened not because of anything lacking in you but because your husband’s addiction became his priority. It would only be possible to try again if he were to get help for this dependency. But, as you are happier since parting, it sounds as if it is too late for that. However, you don’t need

Athe pressure from his parents, so tell your ex to explain gently that they need to stop asking you to reconcile. You could also say to him that it is increasingly difficult not to tell his parents that their son is ill – because this is an illness – and that if he wants you to keep protecting his privacy, he must get help. If he does not, it will continue to ruin his life and his relationship with his children. He should see his GP and pivotalrecovery.org.