MY CHILDREN PREFER MY HUSBAND TO ME

I have two children aged four and two. After my youngest child was born I had postnatal depression for about a year. It was so bad I could hardly get out of bed in the morning and I couldn’t even look after myself properly, let alone my lovely children. I even attempted suicide. My parents were very supportive and I stayed with them for several months while my husband looked after the children with the help of his mother and father. When I regained my strength and my sanity I returned home to my children, who I love with all my heart. If they get upset or are excited about something they always run to their father not me, unless he isn’t there. I know I rejected them but I want them to love me and need me as much as their father. I get cross with him and resent the fact that they turn to him – we fall out over it. What should I do? Don’t get cross with your husband; instead show him how much you love him and tell him how wonderful it was that he was able to look after the children when you were ill. Then talk to him about how you feel pushed out when the children run to him rather than you. Explain that you want them to continue to do that but to turn to you as well. Ask him to work with you to achieve this. When they run to him, whether they are crying or happy, ask your husband to include you and say: ‘Here is Mummy, let’s all have a hug together.’ Make sure you spend plenty of time playing with them and reading to them, and do lots of things as a family, such as going to the park or children’s play centres. Depression is a serious illness and it was not your fault that you weren’t able to look after your children, so don’t blame yourself. Given a little more time I am sure the children will start running to you, too.