‘I don’t think I could cope with the chaos’

tracy Buchanan, 41, is an author and lives with husband Rob, 38, and their daughter Scarlett, five, in Milton Keynes. Watching Scarlett playing with her cousins, for a brief moment I wondered what it would be like for her to have a brother or sister. But back home later that day, I felt reassured that the calm atmosphere proved I’d made the right decision – our family was complete with just one child. Rob and I married after five years together in June 2007, and immediately started trying for a baby. But each month my period arrived. After 18 months I went to my GP and had a load of tests which confirmed the worst – I had unexplained infertility. Our first two rounds of IVF in September 2010 and May 2011 ended in failure. I tried to imagine my future without a baby, but it seemed unthinkable. I eventually turned to creative writing as an outlet for my emotions, and by October 2012 I’d earned enough from writing to pay £10,000 for IVF at a private clinic in London. Eleven days after I had my embryos implanted, I took a pregnancy test. When it turned positive, I began to shake. Rob and I hugged – we were so nervous and excited.

Unlike conceiving, pregnancy was surprisingly easy. I even have fond memories of the birth on 8 June 2013 – I had a C-section because the baby was transverse. As soon as I saw Scarlett, I cried to myself, ‘I’m a mum.’

By the time Scarlett turned 18 months, friends were getting pregnant with their second baby, but nothing was further from my thoughts. I did worry I was being selfish, so asked Rob one night if he wanted any more children. To my relief, he admitted he was happy with the family we had.

I know some people will insist she’s spoilt as an only child, and I suppose she does get more – more time and attention.

I’ve never worried about it, though. We’re just doing the best we can for her, but isn’t that what every parent does, whether they have one child or lots?

I don’t think I could cope with the chaos a big family brings. When I see large families I just feel relief that it’s not me having to look after them all. Being a one-child family is definitely the best decision we ever made. l Tracy’s book, The Lost Sister is out on 20 September (£7.99, tracy-buchanan.com)

‘it’s the best decision we ever made’