graduate with my daughter
Diane Queen was right by her daughter when she went to collect her degreeé
Watching my daughter Azara take to the stage in her cap and gown, I couldn’t be prouder. I knew just how much work she’d put in to get her degree. Only, unlike the other parents, I wasn’t cheering from the audience, I was right beside her…
Growing up, I’d never been academic and didn’t enjoy school. I was dyslexic, so I found it hard. Back then, I didn’t think university would ever be an option.
That’s why, at 16, after falling pregnant, I left school and started working as a cleaner. My son Jim was born in September 1983, followed by Azara in 1990, and Carlos three years later. But then my partner and I separated.
Being a single mum was tough, but the four of us were a team. And as Azara got older, our bond grew stronger. Like me, she was dyslexic and would chat to me about her struggles at school. But she’d also come to me for boy advice and we’d share clothes – we were more like best friends.
In June 2006, Azara left school and started working with me. Only, I couldn’t help but think there was something more out there for her – and maybe for me, too.
Carlos was about to go to university and while we were sat at home flicking through the prospectus one night, Azara, then 22, had an idea. ‘Why don’t we go, too?’ she said. A sense of excitement washed over me. Coventry University was close by and, spotting a course for criminology and psychology, I started to picture us at lectures and wandering around campus.
I’ll admit I did wonder what people might think – applying to go to university with your daughter was a little unusual, to say the least! Still, I refused to worry – I’d never been so sure of anything before.
In early 2013, we sent off our forms and applied for student loans to cover our tuition fees. When we both got accepted, we couldn’t believe it was actually happening. Of course, I wanted Azara to have the full uni experience and suggested she lived in halls, but she was keen to stay at home. ‘It’s only a 15-minute commute,’ she reasoned. Then, that September, it was time to start.
I remember being so nervous – what if I was the oldest person there? I couldn’t believe that, at 46, I was really doing this. But Azara was by my side and I soon realised there were lots of other mature students.
Still, freshers’ week was interesting – students really can drink!
Although the course was difficult, especially with my dyslexia and as it had been so long since I’d been in school, there was plenty of support. Azara and I helped each other with our notes too, and revised together for our exams.
I even made friends. It didn’t matter that we were decades apart age-wise – they loved gossiping with me after class and trying to drag me to the student union! But I left that side of things to Azara. Instead, I’d stay up late at night studying.
Still, financially it was a struggle. I couldn’t pay the bills with just my student loan, so I had to work parttime. But it was worth it – when our graduation day came in November 2016, I was so proud. Not only of Azara – and Carlos, who was also graduating – but of myself, too.
We’ve even gone on to pursue a master’s in psychology, which Azara and I are in the process of finishing soon.
So many people say they’re too old or scared to get back into education – but that’s nonsense. Yes, it’s a lot of hard work but it’s so worth it – and if I can do it, anyone can. I’m just so pleased I got to do it with my daughter by my side. Azara says: ‘Mum’s my best friend, so there weren’t any drawbacks to going to uni together. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her.’
‘We Were like best friends’