MORNING SERIAL
SHE was completely calm. How could she switch like that? Was it all an act? I was unable to speak and felt frozen with a rage I had to fight to control…
I realised while driving home to David’s that I had reached the end of my rope. I was shaking with fury and stress. Mum seemed like a different person from the woman I’d cared for six months before and I was already dreading my next visit.
Though Mum had forbidden me, as soon as I got home I phoned my brother. Telling the story of our desperate car journey to someone far away from the day-to-day theatricals was surprisingly helpful. My brother laughed. Through his eyes I could see that the situation was ludicrous – a farce. I laughed too and it was a huge relief.
He sympathised about the stress I was feeling. I told him of my concerns about Mum’s mental state and about Gerald. ‘I’ll go and visit this weekend,’ he said. I had spilled Mum’s beans and that felt bad, but I needed my brother to be on board from now on.
My brother rang for a de-brief. He had seen what I had seen. He’d spent an afternoon with someone who physically resembled our mother but, he said, he did not recognise this woman. He felt confused and decidedly uncomfortable, but she had at least seemed happy, smiling and flirting. I realised as the conversation unfolded that Gerald had been present, and he had been charming, if a little odd.
I felt calm as I walked into Mum’s flat. I put the laundry on, emptied the bins and cleaned the bathroom. Mum seemed peaceful and cheery. We talked about practical things and I told her I was now actively looking for a carer for her, which met with approval. We got on to the subject of how she was. ‘Oh, I’m fine,’ she breezed.