‘Our Rowena helped others a lot – now we’ll follow her example’
THEIR sister was a fighter – so it’s no surprise that Rowena Kincaid’s siblings have the same drive.
It’s less than a year since Ian Mellen and Melanie Kincaid lost their beloved sister to cancer.
Rowena was aged 40 when she died.
She had just returned from travelling in New Zealand when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009.
She went through surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, but the cancer came back and she received a terminal diagnosis in October 2013.
A BBC Wales employee, she spent some of her last months making a documentary called Before I Kick the Bucket.
The programme explored what it meant to be given a terminal diagnosis, charting Rowena’s chemotherapy and even exploring what happens at a crematorium.
She allowed cameras to film her dream 40th birthday party at Cardiff Castle – an event she wasn’t sure she would be alive for.
Her family found the documentary hard to watch, but they take comfort from the impact she has made on others.
Ian said: “It was a painful time to go through as a family member, but at the same time I was grateful she was doing what she was doing because it allowed us to come to terms with it a little.”
Melanie, who has a striking resemblance to her sister, added: “I used to get people coming up to me in the street, and the day after the documentary went out I was sitting on the train and people were looking at me like I was her.”
Now the pair are planning their own adventure in memory of their sister.
In September they will join a charity trek to Machu Picchu to try to raise £12,000 for Velindre Cancer Centre in Whitchurch, Cardiff.
Rowena underwent a significant amount of her care at Velindre and was a fierce supporter of the centre.
Melanie, from Thornhill, Cardiff, went with Rowena for many of her chemotherapy sessions.
“The staff at Velindre were fantastic,” she recalled.
“It didn’t feel like a hospital when you were in there.
“It is full of the bravest and most amazing people. The staff are just brilliant and I don’t know how they do it. It doesn’t feel stressful and they’re so busy and that’s the crying shame – it’s knowing how busy they are.
“When you’re there and you see people waiting for their chemotherapy slot, it just makes you realise how many people are suffering from cancer. You hear about a friend of a friend or your brother’s mate but it’s actually so prevalent and when you go into this place you actually see the reality of the disease – it’s everywhere.
“I had no exposure to cancer at all until Rowena was ill the first time round. They were brilliant with her then but it was when she had her terminal diagnosis that we realised.
“They didn’t give up on her. They gave her hope. The documentary kept her going and gave her a focus but it was the attitude of people at Velindre – they put her in the right frame of mind.”
Rowena received complementary therapies at the hospital and described how they helped her “feel human again” in a letter to her nurse.
Melanie remembers her sister’s initial scepticism about things like