SPACE SHIPS
Because carrying people and things can be cool, too
RANGE ROVER L322 2001
It’s what the Queen herself would buy. Stately, regal and dripping with connotations of The Archers, Cotswold hunts, and most likely, some sort of transmission fluid. These pre-bling Rangies are getting awfully cheap now, but the web of reliablity tripwires concealed beneath their handsome bodies means more flamboyant options are in play.
JEEP CHEROKEE 4.0 1993
> PRICE THEN: £25,000 > PRICE NOW: £3,000–£14,000
WHY YOU SHOULD
1 If it’s hip to be square this is about as cool as it gets 2 Lots of forum
ownership advice online 3 Fit some knobblies, go green-laning, enjoy a new hobby. Better than golf, no?
WHY YOU SHOULDN’T
1 They built four million. How are they so rare now? 2 Elderly diffs leave bleed oil 3 Worn tracking rods can cause the infamous Jeep ‘death wobble’. Yikes One of the original spearheads of the ‘SUV’ movement Jeep brought the Cherokee over to the UK in right hand drive in The one to look out for is the litre V It only develops bhp but would you honestly prefer the less torquey rattlier diesel? Many surviving Cherokees are being gobbled up as x mud plugger hobby cars but tidy originals go for k Stick on a set of winter tyres and do your worst January
BENTLEY TURBO R 6.8 V8 1987
> PRICE THEN: £79,000 > PRICE NOW: £7,000–£30,000
WHY YOU SHOULD
1 Sorry, have you seen how much car this is for the money?
2 They only break if you don’t use them, apparently. So, drive it guilt-free 3 Servicing eased by lacking the computer sensors of later Bentleys
WHY YOU SHOULDN’T
1 Rear wheelarches last 7–10 years 2 Speakers and back windows are tricky to source 3 Tyres are a touch steep. Try £250. Each
“The reason you buy a Bentley is because a Rolls Royce is far too pretentious” is Dan and Brian’s justification for courageously dropping on this deeply dignified Turbo R The ‘R’ stands for ‘roadholding’ on account of the revised suspension and less soggy handling While this might seem a smidge north of TG’s k budget slightly shabbier Turbo Rs can be found from if you’re feeling brave enough to do the remedial work yourself O cial Bentley servicing is notoriously costly try for a set of plugs but once it’s running sweetly owners insist the daily running costs aren’t heartbreaking It’s cheaper to use one daily than let it sit and have to recomission it Which is why Dan and Brian did miles in ‘Bradley’ in their first year together
MERCEDES-BENZ S500 W220 1997
> PRICE THEN: £70,000 > PRICE NOW: £2,000–£6,000
WHY YOU SHOULD
1 It’s what the depreciation gods want you to do 2 The neighbours might start paying you protection
money 3 Tough to find one for more than £6k. They’re pretty much disposable now, poor things
WHY YOU SHOULDN’T
1 One electrical sensor meltdown could be curtains for the whole
car 2 The neighbours might start asking for lifts to the airport. And hen nights 3 Tired Airmatic suspension causes the car to ‘sink’ when parked and sag when driven. Fixes aren’t cheap
Welcome to the king of faded glory luxo barges The late Nineties melty
headlights S Class along with its CL coupe cousin are the quintessential shorthand for ‘I really shouldn’t should I?’ second hand buying heroics Complete with Mercedes’ first dabbling with voice recognition and radar guided cruise control the W was a hugely advanced machine but years on it’s essentially a big money pit At least the bhp S ’s V is known to be a hardy stalwart You’d have to be mighty brave but if you get a good one you’ll own a previous Best Car In The World for the same money as a top of the range iPhone And that won’t age gracefully either
VAUXHALL ZAFIRA VXR 2005
> PRICE THEN: £25,000 > PRICE NOW: £3,000–£7,000
WHY YOU SHOULD
1 You remember the ‘Daddy Cool’ adverts, don’t you? 2 Being the only one on the school run not in a crossover SUV 3 Easy to forget the Zafira was actually a clever MPV
WHY YOU SHOULDN’T
1 There’s a reason only Vauxhall ever bothered to build a superMPV 2 Quite a few seem to be Cat D.
Hmm 3 High quantities of residual vomit in the kids’ seats Oh the heady days of the Noughties The Sugababes still had an original member in the line up ‘Twitter’ sounded like a verb coined by Roald Dahl and Vauxhall was busy VXR ing everything in sight The Vectra the Meriva even the seven seat Zafira school bus didn’t escape a thwack with the bhp torque steer stick Incredibly combining Golf GTI topping poke with the driving position from a combine harvester didn’t catch on Pity Hey Vauxhall we’ve just had a brilliant idea to give your meh diocre Grandland X family a bit of get up ’n’ go
RENAULT AVANTIME 2001
> PRICE THEN: £28,000 > PRICE NOW: £3,000–£5,000 WHY YOU SHOULD 1 It hails from a glorious alternate universe where crossover SUVs didn’t stifle all design imagination
2 It’s rarer than most Italian exotics
3 Imagine pushing the ‘Grand Air’ button on a summer’s day WHY YOU SHOULDN’T
1 French electrics. The Avantime’s
got a lot of them 2 Clutches for the V6 manual are tough to get hold of
Literally translated as ‘ahead of its time’ Renault’s high riding luxury MPV coupe was a cataclysmic failure to disrupt the German stranglehold on premium motoring Only were sold in Britain of which remain alive Bernie paid for this delightful aubergine example in “a moment of lockdown madness” fondly remembering a previous Avantime company car This one’s the bhp litre V You want the V With the pillarless glass retracted and roof panel motored backward in ‘Grand Air’ mode that’s the noise you’ll want to hear While the electrics are wobbly Bernie is happy to dispel a few Avantime myths “The double hinged doors are fine it’s an old wives’ tale they fail Cracking a windscreen used to write o the whole car but the owners club got one copied so new batches can be made ” Some running gear can be scavenged cheap from a Renault Trafic van Won’t tell if you won’t
“IT’S AN OLD WIVES’ TALE THE WEIRD DOORS FAIL”