IT MUST BE TRUE…

I read it in the tabloids

A widower who tried to find love by throwing hundreds of messages in bottles into the sea faced a backlash when they began turning up on beaches, and were reported as litter. Craig Sullivan, 49, cast 2,000 bottles adrift at beaches around the UK – thinking it would be more “noble” than going on a dating website – but had overlooked the environmental impact. “Hi Craig, I love how romantic your idea is… but lots of us spend hours picking up beach litter,” read one response. On the plus side, the story generated so much publicity, he has since received 50 offers of dates.

The UK’S best mermaids gathered in Northampton this week to vie for the title of Miss Mermaid UK. All entrants were required to be aged 18-32, and competent in water – but top mermaids have diving qualifications. “If you want to be a professional, it is essential that you train as a free diver,” explained Grace Page, the 2016 champion. “I’ve always had a passion for singing, and since a young age I’ve loved having long, naturally blonde hair, and the sea fascinates me.” She stressed that it’s not just a beauty pageant: Miss Mermaid International is also about raising awareness of marine conservancy.

Dull twinned with Boring years ago; now Bland has got in on the act. The union of dreary towns began in 2012, when a resident of Dull, in Perthshire, visited Boring during a trip to Oregon. The towns saw a chance to boost tourism; and last month Bland, in Australia, was formally welcomed into “The League of Extraordinary Communities”.