If my son had been born when I was he wouldn’t have had the chance to survive
– Journalist Olivia Gordon
Staring at a grainy black and white image, while the sound of tiny, pulsing heartbeats fills the room, an ultrasound appointment is the first time most parents meet their new baby.
But seeing those first squiggly lines and blotchy dots can mark more than just the start of parenthood – for some, this everyday procedure can turn a moment of joy and hope into months of fear and uncertainty. This was the experience for journalist Olivia Gordon, 40, who discovered during a routine 29-week scan that her baby boy had just a 50% chance of survival. Olivia, and husband Phil, learned their baby was critically ill with hydrops fetalis, a rare condition that causes the body’s lymphatic system to fail.
Amniotic fluid was building up in Olivia’s womb, crushing her baby’s lungs, restricting growth and increasing the risk of premature birth. “When something goes wrong with pregnancy a lot of people worry it’s something they did,” explained Olivia, who had previously suffered a miscarriage.
“I was paranoid all the way through my pregnancy about doing everything by the book. I was scared of something going wrong again.
“I didn’t necessarily feel guilty, but I didn’t feel like a proper pregnant woman. I felt like I had somehow failed or my body wasn’t capable.”
To save her baby’s life, a sharp, thick needle was pierced through Olivia’s stomach, placing a coiled plastic tube, or “shunt”, halfway into the his chest wall, draining the fluid.
The risky in utero procedure was a success, but the baby was delivered prematurely at 32 weeks. But after five anxious months of neonatal care, baby Joel came home. Now, eight years on, Olivia has written about her experience in her book, The First Breath: How Modern Medicine Saves The Most Fragile Lives.
As well as sharing the story of how her own tiny “miracle baby” came into the world, the part-memoir, part-popular science book explores the history of foetal and neonatal medicine.
She said: “The book is really my attempt to explore and understanding how this area of medicine has developed.”
Revisiting the units and doctors that saved her son, Olivia shines a light on what happens when pregnancy doesn’t go as planned.
“If my son had been born when I was, he wouldn’t have had the chance to survive. That’s mind-blowing, really. “There has been so much generational change. Women giving birth now will have a totally different experience to their mothers or grandmothers. It’s all happening so quickly.”