QUOTES of the week

‘Three things happen when they are in the lab: you fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticise them they cry.’

Nobel winner Sir Tim Hunt sparks a sexism row by saying women should be banned from science labs – he later resigned over the remarks.

‘If they want to put their arms in the air let them. This is not f****** China, so p*** off.’

Sir Elton John subjects a concert steward who tried to stop fans waving their arms to a foul-mouthed rant.

‘They’ve done this and that. OK, so your daddy is rich. That’s great. But when have you worked at JD Sports at the weekend to earn some money?’

HSBC executive Sandie Okoro urges youngsters to forget about spending their gap year in far-flung places and develop some real workplace experience.

‘It’s a thing with its own gravitational field, it’s that big. It’s huge! I can balance pints of beer on it now.’ TV presenter Carol Vorderman concedes that her bottom is her most prominent feature.

‘Headless body in topless bar.’

Legendary headline in New York Post, written by sub-editor Vincent Musetto, who died last week. The story was about a grisly murder in Queens.

‘Fifa’s president, its general secretary and its head of communications are in a car. Who’s driving? The police.’

Fifa spokesman Walter De Gregorio’s attempt at a joke backfires and he quits the scandal-hit football body.

‘I didn’t tell my husband and then for about six months he kept saying, “Hello, pretty.”’

Broadchurch star Olivia Colman, reveals how her unsuspecting husband loved her glamorous new look thanks to Botox.

‘The age of irresponsibility is over.’ Bank of England governor

Mark Carney issues a stark warning to the City that unethical behaviour will no longer be tolerated.

‘Tall, Dark And Gruesome.’

Title of Christopher Lee’s memoirs – the Dracula star died last week at the age of 93.