TOM LINDSAY

THE BEDFORD BLUES HOOKER TAKES US THROUGH HIS PET HATES FROM THE RUGBY WORLD AND BEYOND

1. Heelys

Whenever I am walking around a shopping centre or in the street I always seem to be confronted by a child gliding along on a pair of those roller shoes. For some reason they always have this vacant stare that scares the crap out of me.

TRP VERDICT: We’ll roll with this one, you’re in.

2. Waiters who can’t wait

Waiters and waitresses always seem to come over to my table when I’m out having a meal at just the wrong time. I’ll either have a mouthful of food or be in the middle of an in-depth question when they decide to come over and ask if you’re ready to order or enquire if everything is alright with the meal.

TRP VERDICT: Hopefully getting this through to Room 101 will be a crumb of comfort to you.

3. Uninvited guests

They always turn up without a gift or even a card, eat all the best food and drink the nicest booze, and then proceed to tell the same stories you’ve heard a million times over or be masters in one-upmanship… if you have been to Tenerife they have been to Elevenerife! Then, somehow, they are always the last people to leave at midnight/1am. I remember one year a certain family member insisted on staying until he had seen what was number one in the 100 funniest TV moments. If I recall the programme started at half 10 and it went on for three hours. Christmas is the time of year you want the nearest and dearest around you not uninvited guests.

TRP VERDICT: Don’t worry you haven’t overstayed your welcome in Room 101, it’s another successful entry.