QUOTES of the week

‘It looks as though the key message from voters to the Conservatives and Labour is “a plague on both your houses”.’ Polling expert Sir John Curtice after the main parties faced a backlash in council elections.

‘Shebagging.’ New word allowed in board game Scrabble – it means when a woman puts her bag on the seat beside her.

‘I realise my obituary will say I did but I swear on my children’s lives I did not.’ Gavin Williamson denies being the source of the Huawei leak that led to his sacking as Defence Secretary.

‘Being middle class, which used to be a virtue, is now regarded as a sin.’ Former Harrow School head Barnaby Lenon hits out at those who criticise parents for paying for their children’s education.

‘To give Jon credit, he took a 25 per cent pay cut but it’s kind of 25 years too late really.’ Cathy Newman says the move by Channel 4 colleague Jon Snow should have come sooner.

‘I’ve left Labour partly because of its continued duplicity on Brexit, partly because of its anti-Semitism but also because its leadership is complete s***.’ Blackadder star Tony Robinson reveals why he has quit the party after 45 years.

‘I was never, ever, ever going to settle for giving my body to some old man for a role.’ Dame Joan Collins recalls how she rejected Hollywood’s casting couch.

‘People get up in the morning at 8am and moan about Brexit. At least have some Coco Pops first.’ Comic Alan Carr cannot understand those who start their day with negative tweets.

‘I’m not badly injured at all, apart from my pride.’ British athlete Hayley Carruthers, who collapsed just yards from the finishing line in the London Marathon.