Para Major: I was addicted to war -- but peace nearly broke me... soldiers like me need help

A brave admission by star of Army TV show...

HE IS the epitome of a Parachute Regiment officer – square-jawed, teak-tough and a proven leader in battle. Indeed, millions of TV viewers recently saw Major Andrew Fox parachute fearlessly on to the Russian front line during a military exercise intended to intimidate Russian President Vladimir Putin.

But appearances can be deceptive. Today Major Fox, a veteran of three gruelling tours of Afghanistan, admits that his toughest battle has been against post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

In a moving and candid interview, the 39-year-old becomes the British Army’s most senior officer to disclose his personal struggle with PTSD, a mental illness that has triggered a surge of suicides among serving soldiers. Major Fox reveals how he: Became addicted to combat in Afghanistan, desperately craving firefights with the Taliban, even as increasing numbers of British t roops were being kill ed and wounded in battle;

Smashed up his office in an uncontrollable rage on his return to the UK, punching through a wall. He also believes his condition was a factor in his marriage breakdown;

Grew fearful of the sound of a helicopter, which would trigger his PTSD and force him to recall horrific memories of the front line in Helmand province;

Fears the Army’s ‘ hardman’ image and culture can discourage soldiers from discussing their emotions or admitting weakness.

Major Fox, a company commander in the Parachute Regiment’s 3rd Battalion ( 3 PARA), decided to speak out following concerns over an increase in suicides among serving troops.

‘ I want to be honest about my experiences because good soldiers are taking their own lives,’ he said. ‘In my case, the war turned me into a bristling ball of hate and rage.

‘If a day or night went by in Helmand without us smashing the Taliban, I would be furious. Bullets were whistling past my ears but I just wanted more and more of it. I was hooked on the adrenaline rush, but unknown to me the fighting was draining my emotional reserves.

‘I brought all that anger back to the UK after my last tour of duty and it was just a matter of time before I exploded. Luckily, I only destroyed a room at Army HQ. I realised after that I had a problem that needed treating and that’s what I’d like soldiers with the same symptoms to do. They will have their triggers as I did. Mine was helicopters – the sound would drive me nuts.

‘ Hopefully, soldiers will read this piece and think, “Well, if Major Fox can be open about his PTSD then I should be too,” because every suicide is a tragedy. After my breakdown, I was assessed by a psychiatric nurse and underwent cognitive behavioural therapy.

‘I’m OK again now, so credit to the Army for its mental healthcare programmes.’

Major Fox, from Truro, Cornwall, was commissioned into the British Army in 2005 after studying law at university and beginning a trainee barrister’s pupillage.

He completed three near back-to- back tours of duty in Afghanistan between 2007 and 2010, with little time to recover emotionally from the daily horrors. He saw action in Taliban strongholds, i ncluding Sangin where more than 100 UK troops were killed.

Major Fox, who was seen last month in the ITV series The Paras: Men Of War, used the analogy of a bank account to explain how the war left him ‘ emotionally bankrupt’. He said: ‘I was taking money out, so to speak, with every engagement until I was in overdraft.

‘As a soldier on the front line, you dig deeper and deeper into your emotional reserves until there is nothing left.

‘By the end I was psychologically and emotionally spent, yet I was still craving action.

‘This happened to a lot of people – I did nothing special.

‘The reality is PTSD can affect anyone and inevitably it must have been a factor in the breakdown of my marriage. The provision of care to troops has improved massively, but there is still work to do on the stigma surrounding PTSD, hence why I’m talking about it and why the Paras have now introduced mental health days to educate commanders about the symptoms and risk factors.

‘ Everyone should be honest – that’s the brave and logical course of action.’

Major Fox, based in Colchester, Essex, praised The Mail on Sunday’s campaign for the Ministry of Defence (MoD) to set up a 24-hour helpline for serving troops with mental health issues. It has received 1,500 calls in just ten months.

The MoD has also i ncreased annual spending on what it terms ‘mental fitness’ to £22 million and joined forces with the Samaritans to produce 150,000 mental health pocket guidebooks for troops.

Basic training for recruits now includes ‘mental resilience train- HIGH PRICE: Major Fox suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder ing’. According to research, almost a third of veterans who saw combat in Afghanistan or Iraq suffers from a mental health disorder.

The Mail on Sunday revealed last year how veterans were committing suicide at a rate of one every 13 days – higher than the rate at which troops in Iraq and Afghanistan between 2001 and 2014 were being killed in action.

Last night an MoD spokesman said: ‘No one struggling with mental health should suffer in silence.

‘Those requiring support should contact their chain of command or medical of f i cers, or s eek help anonymously via mental health helplines.

‘ Personnel requiring mental health services has risen since 2007, an increase which could be attributed to greater awareness and willingness to seek support.’