Wedding day blues
The perils of getting married on a Thursday
Ihad always dreamed of wearing the big white dress, with my close friends as bridesmaids. When James proposed in 2012, I was over the moon, but we got a sharp reality check when we started looking into how much even a fairly modest wedding was going to cost.
James and I wanted to get married in our beautiful local church in Surrey followed by a reception close by, for all our friends and family.
We found a barn, 20 minutes away from the church, that had been converted into a wedding venue, and as soon as we saw it, with its high, oak-beamed ceilings, spacious rooms and lovely gardens, we knew we wanted to have our reception there.
Like many couples, we had assumed that we’d get married on a Saturday – but discovered the barn would cost £5,000 less to hire if we got married on a Thursday. The set menu would also cost £20 per head more on a Saturday.
With over 100 guests, we would save £7,000, just by choosing to get married mid-week.
Incidentally, Friday was also cheaper, but not so much as Thursday.
All the wedding suppliers, from the photographer to the florist to the band, had more availability on a Thursday, too, so we could have the event exactly the way we wanted.
So, we did it – we got married on a Thursday.
We’re not the only couple to make such a radical decision. Last year, 21,700 couples in the UK shunned a traditional Saturday date and got married on a Thursday – 6,000 more than in 2008, according to wedding planning website hitched.co.uk.
James and I wrestled with whether marrying midweek might affect the atmosphere of the wedding, and whether everyone would be able to make it.
But when we thought about what we could do with the money we would save, particularly for our children – our son, Jacob, was two at the time, and after our wedding we had William, now 18 months – it really seemed a no-brainer.
We also thought that because we were getting married in late December, close to Christmas, people might be able to take our wedding day and the day after off from work and start their holidays a few days early.
When we sounded it out with family and friends, they were happy and supportive.
There were definitely some disadvantages – the main one being that my uncle, who I’m very close to, couldn’t make it. He has his own business and Christmas is his busiest time at work. We paid for his meal thinking he would arrive late, but on the day he got held up at work and couldn’t make it at all.
There were a few other key friends and family members who also sent their apologies because of their work commitments.
At one stage my husband’s older brother was worried he wouldn’t make it either, which would have been a disaster. He’s an accountant, like James, and the end of the year is a really busy time. His daughter, our then three-year-old niece, was one of my bridesmaids.
Thankfully his boss was understanding and he was able to take the day off, but he had to go back to work on the Friday so he couldn’t really relax.
He had to watch how much he drank and left the wedding a bit earlier than he would have done, which he was understandably frustrated by.
Other friends and family also left the reception early, and didn’t drink and let their hair down as much as they might, because they had to get up for work the next day.
By the end of the night the dance floor felt a bit emptier than some weddings we’ve been to.
I’d wanted to organise a lovely, leisurely breakfast or brunch with friends and family the morning after, but hardly anyone was around, so James and I had a quiet breakfast instead.
If we had to do it all again we’d still get married mid-week: the financial savings were so good and we still had pretty much everybody we wanted there (except for my uncle).
We didn’t see the point in paying an extra £7,000 just to avoid a small bit of inconvenience.
At the time I felt annoyed that venues charge so much more for a Saturday and prey on the fact that people want to get married at the weekend.
This means that essentially you have to decide between marrying mid-week or spending a fortune.
Ultimately, your wedding day is about the two of you.
Although we realised there was some impact on others, we still had a wonderful happy day – and saved money that was better spent on our children.