A not so Grand day out
GOOD ON PAPER BUT SOFTWARE HAMPERS DRIVING EXPERIENCE
STICK some cotton wool in your ears because your correspondent is in full rant mode today. I’m not sure where to start as I’m spoilt for choice, but let’s kick off on a lovely country road in Hampshire on a beautiful sunny day.
We’ve taken the new Vauxhall Grandland hybrid out for a thorough test drive.
So far all is going well. The car looks a lot better than the original Grandland because it’s adopted the Vizo front-end styling now fitted to all current Vauxhalls, including the vans.
Our Ultimate trim model also looks particularly good in red. Smartphone mirroring has gone without a hitch, Elton John is warbling away on Spotify, and the Apple map is showing on the screen and guiding me to the next coffee stop.
And then suddenly the screen is replaced by another map showing me the locations and names of the nearest Vauxhall dealers. Odd, why has it done that? Seems like the Grandland knew something that I didn’t.
Barely a minute later a warning comes up with words to the effect of “collision avoidance sensor issue”, and then seconds later the car’s power starts to disappear. It’s worse than regular limp-home mode because we’re crawling along at it and then getting back in didn’t help. The lights on the dashboard were on but the car was otherwise dead.
I’ve checked back over my records and we have tested 38 different Vauxhalls about 12mph and it’s slowing all the over the last 18 years and this is time. the first one to break down.
The road is a very twisty and hilly This is not a rant against Vauxhalls, B-road with solid double white lines but against modern cars. And by for most of its length (it’s between association against engineers and Odiham and Alton if you’re local, safety regulators (particularly in the and if you are you’ll know how dangerous EU) who are foisting so it is). many unnecessary systems
People behind me are understandably upon us. going crackers as I try and find Of course features the hazard light switch. Thankfully I such as anti-lock spot a verge on to which I can freewheel brakes and traction and be safe. control are
Being an obvious software problem brilliant inventions I did the old switchy-off switchyon and lifesavers, routine, but that didn’t fix it. but an anticollision
Even getting out of the car, locking system that when it fails puts the vehicle and its occupants into a risky situation? Where’s the progress in that?
Nearly done. We called the RAC (Vauxhall’s chosen breakdown partner). The lady on the phone was most helpful and after taking the details told me I’d receive a text letting me know the ETA of the breakdown truck.
After leaving the car and walking into field I found enough signal to get the text. I could expect help between four and seven hours. Possibly later but possibly earlier.
So here’s a short summary: Entry-level 1.2litre 136PS turbo more than up to the job. It’s assisted by a 21kw electric motor and it’s very efficient. We bettered the official 51.3mpg. The Grandland rides well but is not exactly fun to drive.
There are physical controls for most functions and there’s a generous level of equipment.
Not the best SUV you can buy and for looks I’d rather have the Peugeot 3008 with which the Vauxhall shares a platform.