AUTISM SHOULDN’T BE A BARRIER T0 A HAPPY LIFE
Jessie Hewitson, who has an autistic son, shares her parenting tips with LISA SALMON
AUTISM: Is it a terrible tragedy if your child has it, or do they simply have a different brain and skills that are no better or worse than those of non-autistic children?
Whatever you think, one thing’s for sure – life can be challenging both for an autistic child and his or her parents.
Jessie Hewitson, who has a seven-year-old autistic son, is well aware of the challenges, and after successfully tackling them herself, she’s written the book Autism: How to raise a happy autistic child (Orion Spring, £14.99) to help other parents trying to deal with the condition.
Here Jessie, whose son was diagnosed at the age of two, outlines six ways to make life easier for autistic children.
FIX THE ENVIRONMENT, NOT THE PERSON
IN the past, parents tried to help their children by reducing autistic behaviour and training their autistic child to mimic non-autistic children, says Jessie.
She believes this, among other issues, has led to the current mental health crisis among autistic adults.
If an autistic child is engaging in selfstimulating behaviour (‘stimming’ – spinning around, flapping their hands) because they’re anxious, she says there are two possible approaches: stop them stimming, which can also happen when they’re excited or happy, or stop what is causing the child anxiety.
“If having a happy child is your goal, it’s best to focus on stopping what’s causing them anxiety,” she says.
“Take away the stimming and you take away their coping mechanism. Try to reduce the anxiety by taking your child out of a bad situation, and build up from there.”
LEARN ABOUT SENSORY DIFFERENCES
THE social difficulties, or differences, that accompany autism are well known, but what’s perhaps less well understood are the sensory difficulties autistic people face. They process sound, sight, touch, smell and taste differently, and get too much or too little feedback from these senses compared with non-autistic people. “This is why a trip to the supermarket or a music group can be hell for an autistic child,” explains Jessie. “Imagine what it must be like for a child who can’t filter out background noise, seeing everyone else coping when they can’t and unable to explain that they’re in pain and distress. “The modern world wasn’t designed with your child in mind, so adapt it to their needs.” To do this, don’t expect them to join you at noisy get-togethers if they don’t enjoy them; give them noise-reducing earphones if you’re going to the supermarket, or just shop online; and consider why tooth brushing leaves your child screaming.
She suggests any adaptations parents devise to help their autistic child cope with their sensory differences should be shared with their school.
SORT OUT YOUR OWN ISSUES
JESSIE admits it took her years to come to terms with her son’s diagnosis, and points out that most parents have to battle for an assessment and then fight cashstrapped local authorities to get the right support at school.
This leaves many, if not all of them, stressed and unable to properly support other people, she says.
“When I go to parents’ groups geared towards learning more about our children, I encounter parents so in pain they talk only about their own experiences, rather than those of their kids.
“Seek support to get to the point where that pain recedes and you can look at what your child needs more clearly.”