My kids love the beach so much they
WHEN people in films spend a day at the seaside, it’s usually a lovely and very British affair, unless you’re watching Baywatch.
There are Crayola-coloured beach huts, Mr Whippy ice creams and toddlers in frilly hats, while dad smoothly unravels a kite and sends it soaring across the horizon.
With all these visions in mind, we decided to inject our summer break with an extended-family-sized trip to the beach.
I can’t say it resembled any of those movie scenes.
The first thing I was reminded of as we chose a spot and unpacked our picnic was that eating when you’re anywhere near sand is a terrible idea.
It doesn’t matter how careful you are – you could be wearing surgical gloves and a nuclear protection suit – it is simply impossible to produce a sandwich and give it to your child without it becoming laced with grit and seaweed within seconds.
The usual response is to declare, ‘URGH,’ spit it onto a napkin (which you’re then supposed to keep in your bag) and dive into the cakes.
Mysteriously, these can be covered with more grit than a Boots exfoliator, but are still considered to be perfectly edible.
If your kids are anything like mine, as soon as they’ve been fed, their top priority is running into the water. And fair enough, what else is a beach for?
However, and this is even