Cuddles worth waiting for

ON a Zoom session, my friends and I were playing “What are you going to do first?”

When the lockdown is finally lifted, what are you most looking forward to?

One pal is going straight to the nearby outdoor pool for a swim, another is heading to his local for a hand pulled pint.

A third admitted he just wants sex with his girlfriend. But as they live apart he’s taking a lot of cold showers.

Unlike Professor Neil Ferguson, below, the Government’s own lockdown adviser who broke the rules to get his leg over with his married lover. Twice.

But the outrage that rightly greeted this sickening example of “Do as I say, not as I do” hypocrisy seems to be dying down already.

“Did he really need to quit?” ask some commentators.

“He’s apologised… he’s only human… we need his expertise.”

No. What we need is to stay home, protect the NHS, and save lives.

ALL of us.

Professor Lockdown knows the mantra, but he chose to ignore it.

And that breathtaking arrogance is a slap in the face for every person who has shown restraint, responsibility and self-sacrifice.

Why couldn’t he do what we’ve all been doing? Dreaming of the day when life gets back to “normal” so we can enjoy the simple pleasures we’ve always taken for granted.

And perhaps the looking forward is good for us – a delayed gratification even more pleasurable.

Even if that pleasure is having a stranger’s sweaty gusset thrust in your face while practising Brazilian ju-jitsu.

That’s what comedian Russell Brand revealed (jokingly?) that he’s craving when he joined a Prince’s Trust #lookingforward initiative.

Launched by a Youtube star and psychotherapist, it’s designed to get us thinking more hopefully – as hope will help us cope during this crisis.

It’s the opposite of stoicism, which others think the best coping method. Because the Stoics – ancient Greek and Roman philosophers – believed hope only makes us miserable and we should focus on the most catastrophic scenarios – starvation, imprisonment, losing a limb – to be happy with our lot.

Now, I’m a born pessimist, but even I can see how vital it us for us to look forward to post-lockdown pleasures.

Myself, I’m going straight to see my family – to get a big hug from my brother and nephews.

I can’t wait. But I will, of course. Because we all need to focus on doing our bit.

And not our bit on the side.

THIS Morning star Holly Willoughby has been having anxiety dreams.

On Wednesday she told viewers how she dreamt she’d been cast in the lead role of Madame Butterfly on stage.

But, just as she was being told to go on, she realised she hadn’t learned the part – and then she woke up in a right old flutter.

We can all sympathise, I’m sure. Anxiety, particularly among women, has been soaring during the pandemic, and figures from the Office for National Statistics suggest 25 million people are feeling “highly anxious.” I’ve been

having my “forgot to revise for A-levels” and “going to miss my flight” dreams all throughout lockdown.

A lot of people never normally remember their dreams, but a National Geographic report has revealed a 35 per cent rise in dream recall

“Dreams are our brain’s way of processing and organising things,” said a neuroscientist, “and dumped in this new environment we are struggling to find our place.”

I do hope that’s the only reason for my new dream – about being naked in the freezer aisle at Tesco.