All gong wrong
ITV tosh hangs by a thread
CHRIS Packham
BBC2’s on the origins of
Mar Winterwatch base, Lodge Estate in
The foundation Aberdeenshire: “
1895 by Queen stone was laid in
as a hunting Victoria. It was built
her lodge for one of
the Duke of granddaughters, Fife.” Who was clearly
of a keeping one heck secret under that
kilt. THERE’S a sombre mood in the O2 Arena, just 48 hours after Corrie legend Anne Kirkbride’s death.
We’re promised a fitting tribute on “television’s biggest night of the year”.
Aaaand ... cue ex-fellow cast member Natalie Gumede to present Best Soap Performance. Oh, but wait. She appears to be completely misreading the tone, on a night anyone ever associated with Weatherfield is wearing an invisible black armband, by boogying her way to the mic to Bruno Mars’ Uptown Funk.
“As someone who has worked in serial drama,” she blurted, “I’m particularly thrilled to be presenting this award.”
How lovely for you. Not a sausage about Deirdre Barlow. So it was just as well on- screen hubby Bill Roache and EastEnders’ Adam “Ian Beale” Woodyatt found exactly the right words for Kirkbride’s send-off at the 20th National TV Awards.
An evening of baffling outcomes where the closest anyone came to o risky was sending Sandra from Gogglebox to collect the Factual trophy. She stood at the foot of the stage steps, peered up at the north face of the Eiger: “Where do I go? Where do I go?”
Dermot O’Leary ran from the podium to the rescue. But no one saved him as the night became drearier by the hour.
The very real danger of grabbing some random from the audience to present an award had been dismissed. Instead, Dermot had a “world exclusive” Lucy Beale murder clue, big news in Turkmenistan and Djibouti.
Craziest
And, presenting stuck-in-traffic Sheridan Smith’s gong 20 minutes late, he admitted: “We get there in the end, just not in order.” So many results were in the wrong order. That happens when the public decide.
They reward out- to- pasture former glories, like Downton Abbey, and rob The Apprentice, up against Bake Off, MasterChef and Come Dine in a new category called Co Cookery and/or Berks In A Boardroom, possibly. One of the worst I’m A Celebrity series beat two of the greatest Celebrity Big Brothers (Lee Ryan and Gary Busey).
Celebrity Juice was deemed better than Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead and “Georgie Shaw”. Whoever she is.
Special Recognition winner David Tennant received a far grander tribute than Anne Kirkbride, of gushing proportions mostly from his dad. Lenny Henry raised the terrifying prospect of a “24- hour Dermot dance marathon”.
Dame Cheryl was actually shortlisted for TV Judge. And a vaguely familiar bloke ( Ben Haenow) sang during ITV’s mandatory Simon Cowell machine promotion, rounding off the night with the craziest result, X Factor nobbling Strictly.
Remember, 2014’s ceremony plugged the I Can’t Sing musical disaster which disappeared without trace weeks later. My hopes this year? Come in, Dame Cheryl.
Your time’s up.